Russian Lullaby
by Ivan-bear
Summary: America and Russia are charged with two counts of murder and are wanted all over the world. As they go on this rough adventure, America finds he likes Russia a little bit more than a friend. RusAme, FrUk, former UsUk, and other pairings. ON HIATUS.
1. Lead Pipes and Empty Vodka Bottles

"_Amerika…"__Russia held onto the sobbing nation. America shoved his face deeper into Russia's chest. Russia grimaced as America's head came in contact with a large wound. "Amerika don't do this." Russia choked out, trying to not upset the slightly smaller male. America let go of Russia and stood up. Russia took this as a good sign and stood up as well. "Ivan, what do I do?" Ivan mentally flinched. He wasn't used to America calling him by his human name. Ivan pulled America into a hug. "I don't know Alfred…" Ivan took the end of his scarf and wiped Alfred's tears…_

_World Meeting December 5, 2011, London, England_

"I vould like to velcome everyone to this month's world meeting." All nations were staring at Germany, afraid of any and every punishment he had to offer. As Germany took his seat, Romano stood up and started to give his annual speech on how America was mooching off of everyone else. Alfred rolled his eyes and turned his attention to England. He was scribbling what appeared to be a drawing off Romano being hung at the old gallows down the street. Alfred chuckled softly and leaned over to England. "So, you're bored too?" England narrowed his eyes and said, "I'm not bored. I'm just used to Romano yapping all the time," England frowned slightly," Being bored is for the stupid and lazy." Alfred pouted and said,"Everyone gets bored sometime Artie…" Arthur rolled his eyes and turned to France who was repeatedly jabbing him in the back. Alfred clicked his tongue and turned back to whoever was speaking.

About thirty-two countries after Romano came Ivan's turn. He started talking about politics and his upcoming elections for president when he noticed Alfred giving him an unattractive death glare. Ugh. Every time Ivan got up to do something, Alfred was always giving him a death glare or whispering nuclear threats. Ivan stopped talking and turned to look at Alfred. All the other nations' eyes followed Ivan's. "Can I help you?" growled the American. A dark aura started radiating around Ivan and he started grinning evilly. "I vas only wondering why you were glaring at me. Are you? Or are you're eyebrows always like that?" America stood up and handed Texas to Arthur. Ivan's grin grew wider. America got on top of the long table and walked towards Ivan.

Alfred grinned wildly as he stepped towards Ivan. When he reached the larger nation, he picked him up by the collar and flung him into a wall. Ivan picked himself up out of the used- to- be -wall leaving an Ivan-sized dent. This was going to be fun. He took out his lead faucet pipe and whacked it into Alfred's head. Ow. Alfred stumbled backwards, off the table. He hopped back up and charged at Ivan. As his head made contact with Ivan's rib cage, a sickening crack was heard throughout the room. Ivan sat on his bottom holding his stomach protectively. Alfred smirked and turned his back on Ivan, obviously believing he won.

"Great move…" Ivan chuckled, "but not good enough." Alfred whirled around to see an empty bottle of vodka being flung at his head. The bottle shattered and a million pieces of glass scattered across the room. Three screams were heard throughout the room. Alfred's scream of pain, Hungary's scream of terror, and Germany's screaming at Ivan.

All nations stood up except for Alfred. Switzerland, Italy, Ukraine, Arthur, and Canada rushed towards Alfred to patch him up. The others stood in a semi circle around Ivan. Ivan merely smirked at them, knowing they couldn't do any real damage to him. Ivan felt many hands lift him up off the ground and out to the hallway. "Damn. Russia what the hell is wrong with you?" France was seething with anger. Of course, right when he was about to make his move on Arthur Ivan had to go and smash a bottle over Alfred's head. Ivan only rolled his eyes and grunted. It's not his fault Alfred was being a horse's ass. Ivan stood up and growled, "The only reason I did that was to get him to stop. I didn't want to fight." Ivan said the last part through gritted teeth. Of course he wanted to fight. He just didn't expect Alfred to give up so easily.

Suddenly the large, detailed doors burst open revealing a pissed off Alfred trying to get away from Switzerland who was screaming things like "Get back here you idiot" or "You ass! Why won't you sit still?" Alfred pushed passed every country until he reached Ivan. "Commie Bastard…" Alfred breathed. Ivan narrowed his eyes and said, "Flattery will get you no vhere Amerika." Alfred balled up his fists and threw one at Ivan. Ivan merely caught it and scolded, "You're injured. I will not fight you if you are injured." With that, Ivan took off. Alfred stared dumbfounded. What the hell was wrong with Ivan?

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><p>First chapter of first chapter on Fan Fiction. How was it? If you review I'll give you a golden egg.<p> 


	2. Russia's Girly Angel Voice

_Ivan and Alfred stood there like that for awhile. Alfred sobbing and Ivan wiping away his tears. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Alfred collapsed into Ivan's arms. Ivan picked Alfred up and carried him to an empty cave. Ivan sighed and said,"This will have to do. I've slept in a much worse place before and I'm sure Alfred has too." He set the dirty blonde nation in a sitting position on the far cave wall. He walked outside of the cave and starting gathering tons of firewood. He could tell they would be staying here for awhile…_

London, England December 5, 2011

Alfred pushed his way past the short, bushy-browed people in the English streets. The world meeting had quickly been adjourned after Alfred's little incident. It was late afternoon and Alfred had found himself to be diagnosed with a serious case of boredom. There was not much he could do in this boring city. He could always go bug Arthur. 'Nah,' he thought,' He's probably out on a hot date with France.' Alfred was snapped out of his thoughts as he heard a beautiful voice start singing. He looked to see what different reactions would be to the voice. He wanted to know if the other people were as infatuated by the voice as he was.

Alfred was puzzled. The other people didn't seem to hear the voice. Alfred, being the extremely curious person that he was, decided to follow the voice. The voice lead him through the streets of England until it was midnight. Big Ben went off, causing the voice to be drowned out by its brassy tones. Alfred laughed. He thought the old clock sounded just like England, always screaming and yelling at people. It still amazed Alfred to this very day that a small body like that could hold so much energy. Alfred heard the angelic tones once more. But they were louder this time. Alfred found the source off the voice and couldn't help himself from laughing his ass off.

"Russia?" Alfred managed to say before going into another laughing fit. The large nation whirled around to look at Alfred. "How the hell did you…" Alfred stopped laughing and wheezed, "I found you by your girlish voice." Ivan glared at the slightly smaller nation. "Драчево." Alfred stared at the Russian confused. "The hell does that mean?" Ivan only chuckled and said," Меньшяя америка, вы действуете настолько cute когдавы одурманиваны. Одна из влюбленности причин iего неподвижной вы." Alfred just squinted his eyes and said," There you go with you're stupid commie language again." Ivan rolled his eyes and turned away from Alfred. "What do you want?" Alfred grinned and said," I came to hear you sing. Although I thought it was a hot chick singing." Ivan turned and flicked him in the nose. "Ow! What was that for?" Ivan chuckled and said, "For being you."

An hour had passed as they argued. Ivan had hit Alfred many times and Alfred retorted by saying how girly Ivan sounded. "Stop! Stop!" Ivan and Alfred turned to see a little girl running from a large man. Ivan pulled Alfred close to his body and covered his mouth with his hand. "Shhh," he whispered," they mustn't know we are here." Alfred squirmed in Ivan's grasp. "Alfred!" Alfred stopped. 'This isn't fair,' he thought, 'she could be in danger!' The man grabbed the girl's hair and pulled her towards him. The little girl started to cry. "Please! Leave me alone!" That was too much for Alfred. He bit Ivan's hand. Ivan let go of Alfred and stifled a scream. Alfred sprinted out of Ivan's grasp and punched the man in the nose.

"Ahhh! Who the hell are you?" Alfred smirked and said," I'm Alfred F. Jones and I'm the hero!" Alfred twirled around the man and kicked him in the back of the head. The man screamed and started to thrash while holding the back of his head. By now he had let go of the little girl. The girl ran to Ivan and started crying into his coat. "Shhh. It's okay. He can't hurt you." The man cackled and stood up. "That's what you think!" The man pulled out a gun from his sleeve and aimed it the girl. The girl immediately ran out of Ivan's arms and tried to run into a building. The man cackled again and shot the girl. She fell down only five feet from Ivan. Alfred turned to the man and screamed," WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" The man merely smirked and put the gun in his mouth. He pulled the trigger. Blood was everywhere…

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><p>That concludes chapter two. How'd I do? If you review, I will give a pet unicorn.<p> 


	3. Oh Crap

'_Alfred keeps making pained faces in his sleep…' Ivan took one more look at the sleeping nation and turned to leave the cave. Alfred kept having nightmares ever since the little girl's murder. The dreams were the most retched and terrible visions anyone could have. They could make even the bravest of men wake up screaming, even Ivan. The one he was having right this moment was rather gruesome itself…_

'_Alfred was running was running down a long hallway. It was tiled with black and white squares. Alfred was sprinting down it. He knew he was running from something he just didn't know what. Suddenly he came to the end of the hallway. The feeling of dread grew larger and larger as he fell to his knees, sobbing. He turned to see Ivan standing there. "Ivan? What are you doing here?" Ivan didn't even turn his head to look at him. He pulled a gun out of his sleeve and aimed it at Alfred's head. "No! Please don't. I-I love you…" Ivan didn't seem to hear him. He cocked the gun and pulled the trigger…'_

London, England December 5, 2011, Murder Site

Alfred's face was covered with the man's blood. He took the gun out of the man's mouth. Ivan sprinted to where the little girl lay. He picked her up and put her chest to his ear. He frantically searched the girl for any signs of life. "Ivan, she's gone." That tore it for Ivan. He fell to his knees and started to sob. Suddenly a bright light shone on the two. The deafening sound of a helicopter filled the air. "America? What in God's name are you doing here?"

Arthur. Not good. Arthur hopped out of the helicopter. He swaggered to where they were at. "You see that Francis? That's how you swagger- walk!" France could be heard over the rotors. "Shut it, you over glorified ass hole!" Arthur only laughed. His laughter was cut short however, when he saw Alfred's face. In a shaky voice he said, "What h-happened? Did you hurt y-yourself?" Alfred didn't need to answer because France figured it out for Arthur. "You k-killed a man?" Alfred just stared at him, unable to say anything. "Looks like he had help." growled Germany. Wait. Where'd Germany come from? After he said this, about two dozen more countries came out of the helicopter. Hungary let out another she-demon screech and pointed in their direction. "THEY KILLED A LITTLE GIRL TOO!" Sea land's crying could be heard in the back of the crowd. Liechtenstein could be heard comforting the small country. Arthur's face was filled with pure terror but his voice was still strong. "America, as long as you and Russia are in my country you're my responsibility. I'm sorry but you are under arrest."

Alfred stood there with his jaw dropped. He didn't have the strength to move or speak. Luckily Ivan had enough energy for the both of them. He grabbed Alfred's hand and started to sprint for a safe place. "Get him!" yelled Arthur. Ivan heard the pounding of a hundred feet on the ground coming after them. Ivan growled. Why did he decide to run? 'I guess I didn't want to be trapped again. I especially don't want to be stuck with Alfred.' Ivan suddenly felt a stinging sensation in his eyes. He shut them and brought a hand to rub the feeling away. Luckily the pain subsided. Ivan opened his eyes to see that his legs had brought him to a local dock. And they had just run out of solid ground to run on…

SPLASH! Ivan and Alfred were under water. Ivan paddled Alfred under the dock. "及物动词!" Alfred rolled his eyes. China was so easy to pick out of the rest of the world. "Where are they? Germany, I'm scared!" The voices stopped. "We can't let those two get away!" Arthur. "Germany! Go contact the other countries and tell them that Russia and America have just murdered two people. Everyone else, go warn your bosses and be on the lookout for the two." One by one they all started to leave. When Ivan thought it was safe to come out, he grabbed Alfred's hand and brought him out onto the docks. Alfred saw a boat and said," Hey Ivan, let's go sneak onto that boat! I'm sure they'll have a spare room." Ivan reluctantly agreed. This was going to be a long trip…


	4. The S S AWESOME

_Alfred woke with a start. He woke up right before he was killed by Ivan. Alfred reached up and touched his face. The nightmare hadn't been as bad as the others. But one thing in the dream puzzled Alfred. He had said he loved Ivan. 'Weird,' he thought,' I don't like Ivan like that. Do I?' Alfred's thoughts were interrupted by the smell of burning wood. Ivan looked up from the fire. "Hello there, sleepy head!" Alfred groaned. "I thought you weren't a morning person." Ivan shook his head and said," I'm not." Alfred squinted his eyes and said," Then how come you're all peppy?" Ivan smirked and said, "It's eight o'clock." Alfred's jaw dropped. "What?" Ivan chucked softly. "You've been asleep for a day and a half."_

London, England December 5. 2011, London Docks

Ivan paddled to the side of the boat and climbed the white, slick wall. He dug his nails into the side of the boat just to keep himself from falling off the side. Alfred was already safely in the boat. "It's not fair. Why does he get to have super strength and super agility while I'm stuck using my finger nails to climb the side of a filthy boat?" Ivan kept muttering in such a manner until he was in the boat. "Now let's go find the captain of this ship!" Ivan sighed. Ugh. This was going to be a _**really**_ long trip.

Alfred sprinted down the side of the boat while Ivan lagged behind, checking the name plates on each of the doors. "Aha! I found it!" Ivan frowned. "Freak…" Alfred glared at Ivan. Ivan laughed nervously and opened the door. "Yeah… Whatever. Okay West. West. Germany… Ludwig! I understand. Okay… Bye." Alfred and Ivan stood opened mouthed, staring at the most unpredictable sight they'd ever seen.

"PRUSSIA?" Prussia looked up to see Alfred and Ivan staring at him. "Uh oh…" Ivan shook his head and said," Gilbert? You're the captain of this ship?" Gilbert nearly burst out laughing. "Of course! How else would I get to London?" Alfred frowned and growled," By car!" Gilbert rolled his eyes and said," We're on an island, smart one." Alfred sighed. " So you've probably heard about-"Gilbert cut him off."Yeah. Tell you the truth I didn't think ya' had it in you. Ivan sure, but you? No way," Ivan laughed. "Yeah, seriously he's such a wimp no one would-"Ivan stopped talking and glared at Gilbert. "Gilbert, ve didn't kill either of them. The man killed the girl and then himself." Gilbert nodded like he understood. Gilbert turned towards Alfred and said," I bet you're asking me to help you! Am I right?" Ivan and Alfred nodded. Gilbert smiled gleefully and sung," Well~ I can let you stay on my ship for awhile~ "Alfred smiled and said," Wow! Thanks dude! We owe ya' big time!" Gilbert's smile disappeared when he said," There is a slight catch though. Due to space issues you two have to stay in one room together." Alfred shrugged. "That's okay. It can't be that bad." Gilbert turned to the blonde. "There is only one bed. There is no space for someone as tall as you or Ivan to sleep on the ground."

Ivan stared at Gilbert. "We have to sleep together?" Gilbert giggled darkly and said," Yep! Now let me show you to your room." Gilbert opened the door and walked outside. Ivan growled and walked out. Alfred's eyebrows knotted up. 'What's a guy to do?' he thought.

The cold night air nipped at Alfred's face. He ran to Gilbert's side. "So how big is this bed?" Gilbert laughed. "It's a queen." Alfred hiked an eyebrow and said," Why is it so big for a small room?" Gilbert frowned. "They won't let me have a boat if there is no cargo. So instead of her being a real trade ship, I made her a guest home. My crew sleeps on her when we're sailing. Some of my crew members like to bring their wives on trips. There are beds all over the S.S. AWESOME!" Ivan and Alfred looked at each other. "…Typical…"

Gilbert led the two to a small room with dingy grey carpet. The room was dark and there was a lone porthole as the only source of light. Ivan pinched the bridge of his nose and thought,' A tiny room. I'm going to have to share a tiny room with one of the most energetic countries in the world.' In the middle of the room was a large bed with a black comforter. Gilbert leaned over to Ivan and whispered," Good luck Russland. You're gonna need it." Ivan groaned. This was going to be a really, _**really **_long trip…

Gilbert left them alone in the room. Once the door closed, Alfred flopped onto the bed. Ivan sighed and said," If we're going to sleep in the same bed, you're going sleep on your side and I'll sleep on mine." Alfred pouted and said, "Fine."

The two had a rather rough night. Around midnight Alfred started to dream. Ivan felt him sweat and shake. 'A nightmare.' Ivan thought. He turned his back on the slightly smaller nation. Alfred started to talk. Ivan's eyes grew large. He silently chuckled. 'Finally!' he thought, 'A way to get secrets out of Alfred!' Ivan listened to the other male in the room. "Leave me alone!" Ivan's heart sped up. He was loud even in his sleep. "Please! I love you…" Ivan felt his face heat up. Who was he talking to? "Arthur… Please! I love you…" Ivan narrowed his eyes. Arthur. That's who Alfred was talking to. Ivan turned so that he was facing Alfred. "Альфред, calm down." Suddenly Alfred lunged forward so that he and Ivan were kissing. Ivan's heart started to beat faster and his blush grew even redder.

Alfred brought two clammy hands to Ivan's face. He deepened the kiss and slipped his tongue inside Ivan's mouth. Ivan squirmed and tried to push Alfred away. Alfred didn't budge. Instead he bit down on Ivan's lower lip. Ivan didn't like that. Maybe Alfred had been dominant in his and Arthur's relationship, but he damn well wasn't going to be in this one. Ivan brought a hand and put it up Alfred's shirt. Alfred jumped at the sudden coldness on his skin. Alfred straddled Ivan's hips and started to undo Ivan's belt. Ivan broke the kiss and yelled, "Stop!" Alfred's hands immediately retracted and his eyes slowly started opening. Ivan took his hand out of Alfred's shirt and turned his back on the other nation. "Ivan? You awake?" Ivan didn't say anything. Alfred rubbed his eyes and lay back down. Ivan grimaced. What would've happened if he didn't tell Alfred to stop? Why did he kiss Alfred back? Suddenly he felt Alfred snuggle up to him. "Alfred?" Ivan felt Alfred wiggle. "Hmm?" Ivan closed his eyes and said," What are you doing?" Alfred sat up. "Whadda you mean?" Ivan sighed and said," Never mind. Go back to bed." Alfred shook his head. "Whatever. G'night." Ivan groaned. "Good night…"

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><p>Translation<p>

Альфред: Alfred

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><p>This is my longest chapter. Please review. if you do, I'll give you a rare golden Coca-Cola can.<p> 


	5. Black Eye

_Alfred nearly fell over. "What?" Ivan sighed. "You were exhausted. You fell asleep, so I picked you up and brought you to this cave." Alfred put his head in between his knees. A flood of emotions flew through his mind. 'I tried to keep them away.' He thought. 'I tried so hard…' Ivan looked at him in confusion. "Alfredka, are you alright?" Alfred let out an unintelligible answer. Ivan leaned forward. "What?" Alfred's head came out from between his knees and screamed," NO!" Ivan cringed. "Sorry…" he whispered. "Don't be." Ivan looked at Alfred. Tears were streaming down his face. A sudden wave of guilt poured over Ivan. Ivan grabbed his hand and pulled him close. "Do not cry, Alfredka. Do not cry." Normally Alfred would protest, but he was so overcome with grief that he didn't move away. _

London Docks December 6, 2011

"Hey, hey, hey! Did everyone sleep well?" Gilbert's voice sliced through the morning air. Alfred jumped up and said," We slept awesomely!"Gilbert grinned. "Wunderbar! And how about you, Ivan?" Ivan groaned. Gilbert shook his head and said," Not a morning person, huh? Neither is Spain… Man! You should see him when he wakes up in the morning. Try to wake him before noon and you're toast!" Ivan didn't pay him any mind. No, instead he chose to shove his head into his pillow. Alfred rolled his eyes and started poking Ivan's head. "Come on commie bastard! Come on! Wake up!" Ivan turned his head so he could give Alfred an if-you-don't-stop-I'm-going-to-murder-you look. Bad choice.

Alfred's finger came into contact with Ivan's eye. Ivan screamed, Alfred panicked, Gilbert fainted. Alfred took one look at Gilbert and started freaking out even more. "What do I do? Wha' do I do?" Ivan calmed down enough to take his hand off his eye. Alfred gasped and fell to the floor. Ivan sighed and picked Gilbert up and sat him on the bed. He took off Gilbert's jacket he searched all of Gilbert's pockets until he found what he wanted, a pocket mirror. He opened the small mirror and looked at his eye. He nearly dropped the small object. His eye was swollen and purple! Alfred had given him a black eye! "Alfred," he growled. " You're going to pay for this!" Ivan started to grumble a steady stream of 'kols' while he walked around the boat trying to find a first aid kit. He walked into Gilbert's office and searched for any flashes of red and white.

"Nope, beer cabinet." Ivan closed the small wooden door and walked towards a shelf. He skimmed over the dusty contents rested snugly on the dark chocolate shelves. Ivan shook his head. "You'd think a captain of a ship would have a first aid kit…" Ivan almost walked out the door before noticing the small first aid kit staring him in the face. Ivan face palmed. He took the small package and opened it. Inside of the box were all kinds of ointments and disinfectants. Ivan pushed past all of them until he found long strips of thin gauze. Ivan let out a sigh of relief and started to rap the gauze around his head. When he was finished, he took out the mirror. He looked at himself and nodded, pleased with his work.

Ivan walked back to his and Alfred's room. As he opened the door, an evil plan grew in his head. Gilbert still lay on the bed where Ivan had left him. "Perfect." Ivan picked Alfred up and put him on the bed next to Gilbert. He wrapped Gilbert's arms around Alfred. Then he took Alfred's hands and put them on Gilbert's ass. He took his phone out of his pocket and fiddled around until the camera turned on. He grinned devilishly and started to take pictures. After about thirty pictures, Gilbert and Alfred started to come to. Ivan quickly put his phone back in his pocket and acted like he had just come into the room.

"Privet, Alfred and Gil- AHHHHHHH!" Alfred looked at Ivan as if he were a mad man. "What's wrong with you, commie bastard?" Gilbert squinted at Ivan and said," Yeah, why are you screaming?" Ivan thought this was priceless. "Look for yourselves." Gilbert and Alfred stiffened. Gilbert's face looked paler than usual. "Alfred?" Alfred looked at Gilbert. "Yeah?" Gilbert's face filled with horror. "Your hands are on my ass…" Alfred's hands quickly retracted from where they were. Alfred shuddered and said," Your arms are around me." Gilbert pulled his arms away from Alfred's torso. They looked at Ivan and said," When did we get on the bed?" Ivan put on a mask of confusion and said," Probably after I left the room to go get some bandages to put on my eye." Gilbert groaned while Alfred started to cradle his knees. "It's gonna' be okay." Alfred suddenly jumped up and asked." Hey! When are we leaving?" Gilbert jumped up and said," Fuck! We're gonna' be late to Spain's party if we don't leave now!" Ivan's eyes grew wide and he yelled," Whadda' you mean Spain's party? Alfred and I can't go anywhere!" Gilbert reached up and smacked Ivan. "No time for questions! We leave now!" Ivan glared at Gilbert while Alfred screamed some nonsense about getting drunk and swimming in a bikini. Ivan looked at him. "What?" he said. "Can't I be dressed like a lady?" Ivan shook his head. "You are an idiot…"

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><p>Translations<p>

Wunderbar: Wonderful

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><p>Second longest chapter. Yay... Hope you like. If you review, I'll give you the picture of Prussia and America...<p> 


	6. Nightmare

_Ivan kissed Alfred on top of his head. Alfred took one of Ivan's sleeves and cried into it. Ivan frowned when he realized Alfred sneezed into his sleeve like it was a tissue. "Eww…" Alfred smiled and took his face out of Ivan's sleeve. Ivan looked down at Alfred. He shook his head and said," You look just like Matvey, you know that?" Ivan picked Alfred up and set him on his feet. Alfred sniffled and wiped his face, with Ivan's sleeve. Ivan shook his head and walked over to the fire. Alfred noticed there were two fish being roasted on the fire. Alfred strained his neck and cupped his ear. Ivan looked confused. "What are you doing?" Alfred strained his neck and said," I think I hear the fish screaming." Ivan sighed and sat down. Alfred turned his head and looked outside the cave. The sky was gray and little dots of light spread out over the horizon. Alfred sighed happily. "I wish we could stay here forever…"_

Somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean…

"Ivan, where the Hell are you?" Ivan giggled as he continued to hide from Alfred and Gilbert. They were going to kill him when they found him. They had found him hacking into Gilbert's email, emailing the pictures on his phone to the computer, and then emailing the pictures Ivan's email. 'Blackmail…' Ivan thought as he scurried from hiding place to hiding place. Finally, after a good hour and a half, Alfred picked Ivan up by his ears and flung him into the side of the boat. Yeah, into the side of the boat. "Al- AHHHH! Alfre-OWWW! Alfred, STOP!" Alfred laughed an evil villain laugh and said," No way Ruski. How many pictures did you take? Oh yeah, that's right. Thirty. That means thirty more beatings! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!" Gilbert suddenly ran to Alfred's side. "Dude, you have to stop beating Russland up! You're gonna' destroy my ship!" Alfred ceased beating Ivan against the boat and glared at Gilbert. "Not cool, Gil. Not cool!" Alfred then started to grin evilly. "Got any rope?" Gilbert nodded and ran off to grab what Alfred wanted.

"Alfred! Gilbert! Get me down from here!" Ivan screamed pleas for help nonstop. "Damn Сволочи! Them and their stupid rope. Сволочи!" Alfred stared up at his masterpiece with pride. There, hanging off the flag pole by his feet, was Ivan Braginski. Ivan punched the air relentlessly. Alfred shook his head and walked away, leaving Ivan to punch the air and scream curses. "Good night Ivan!" Alfred heard Ivan screaming in the distance. "Hey! Don't you leave me here. Alfred F. Jones get your fat ass over here right now!"

"Night Gil." whispered Alfred as he passed Gilbert. Gilbert waved his hand and went back to fiddling with his laptop, trying to hack into Ivan's email. Alfred sighed and went to his room. He immediately fell on the bed. After two minutes, Alfred passed out.

_Alfred's Dream_

"_Ugh." Alfred cradled his head as a sudden pain flew through it. Alfred fell to his knees and screamed. "Alfred…" Alfred's head whipped up to see a small being wandering aimlessly. Alfred stood up. After he stood, the floor instantly started to rumble. The small being dashed toward Alfred. Right before it hit Alfred, it stopped. The small being cocked its head to the side and stepped back. Alfred looked at the being, unable to make out any details of the figure. Alfred walked around the figure, trying to find any sort of detail. A nose, a mouth, anything that would give a hint as to what it was. Alfred pouted. 'It doesn't even have an antenna like a Pictonian!' The being put its hand in front of Alfred. Alfred slowly extended his hand out towards the other. As their fingertips touched, light flooded around the two. The being suddenly began to take shape. Alfred watched in awe as the being grew short, messy hair that was tinged light brown in some places but otherwise blonde in all the others. Its face started to form as well. Big bushy eyebrows were knotted together as big emerald eyes stared into Alfred's sapphire orbs. Alfred gasped. 'Arthur…' he thought. Arthur smiled and looked at Alfred. "Hello Alfred."_

_Alfred smiled and wrapped his arms around his former caretaker. Arthur returned the hug. Alfred suddenly realized that Arthur was naked. He quickly broke the hug. "Dude, you're naked!" Arthur shook his head. "No I'm not." Arthur motioned to what he was wearing: a white long sleeve T-shirt and white jeans. Alfred smiled and said," You've been showing up in my dreams a lot lately. Is that on purpose?" Arthur frowned. "No Alfred. Remember, the real Arthur is out to get you." Alfred cringed. He choked back a sob and said," Oh yeah…" Arthur smiled and pulled Alfred close to him. "But I'm still here." Alfred smiled and kissed Arthur. Alfred Arthur to the floor and straddled his hips. "Yeah." He whispered. "I still have you." Alfred kissed Arthur a little bit more roughly. The Brit snaked his arms around Alfred's neck. Alfred put his hands on Arthur's ass and closed his eyes, deepening the kiss. When Alfred opened his eyes, he noticed two things. 1) They were now on a bed with a black comforter in a small room and 2) Arthur had now turned into Gilbert._

_Alfred screamed and hopped off of Gilbert. He turned around and broke through the door. Alfred dashed out of the room but was soon blinded by a white light. Alfred rubbed his eyes and looked up to see Ivan. Suddenly Alfred was on the deck of the S.S. Awesome looking up at Ivan, who was flailing his arms like he was a fish out of water. He was tied to the top of the flagpole by his feet. Alfred burst out laughing. "It's even funnier the second time!" Out of nowhere, a cold, shrill voice pierced through the air. "Alfred. Oh Alfred~" Alfred turned to see a shocking sight. The man who he had supposedly killed was staring him straight in the face. "Oh Alfred~ Wake up Alfred~_

Alfred woke up panting. That was the second most terrifying dream he had ever had. (The most terrifying was when he went to McDonalds and found out that they were going vegetarian.) Suddenly Alfred was aware of the dark shadow being cast over him. He looked up only to be met with a cold, amethyst glare of a VERY. PISSED OFF. RUSSIAN.

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><p>Translation<p>

Сволочи: Bastards

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><p>This is my favorite chapter so far. My favorite part was when Ivan was hung by his feet from the flagpole. What was yours? Tell me in the reviews. If you do, you will be given a cookie! ^^<p> 


	7. Sunflowers

_Ivan frowned."Maybe we can come here when things blow over. For now, ve are stuck." Alfred turned to look at Ivan. "Okay, okay. Jeeze, you are almost as bad as Roderich or Arthur. You can't let anyone have fun." Ivan grunted and turned back to the fire. Alfred rolled his eyes. A loud grumbling was heard and Ivan looked up at Alfred. Alfred smiled sheepishly and said," Hey, when's dinner ready?" Ivan shook his head and tossed a fish in Alfred's direction. The fish flew through the air (Heh… Flying fish) and landed right in the middle of Alfred's face. Alfred jumped up and started spazzing out. "HOT! HOT! HOT!" he screamed. Finally he let it fall to the ground. A fish shaped red mark trailed down Alfred's face. Alfred fell to his hands and knees and he sniffed the fish like he was a dog. Slowly, he took a bite out of it. "Mmmmm… Great job Ruski!" Ivan sighed. "Thanks, I guess." Suddenly a loud crash of thunder was heard. Ivan jumped about a foot in the air and he landed on top of Alfred. "Really Dude? Really?" Ivan laughed nervously and said," Thunder make scary. Thunder make bang-bang!" Alfred laughed pushed Ivan off. 'Blackmail…' he thought._

Somewhere in the Middle of the Atlantic Ocean… 

That very pissed off Russian was, by the way, holding his faucet pipe out, ready to swing at anyone who pissed him off even more. Alfred let out a whimper as Ivan picked him up by his hair. Suddenly their faces were really close. "You're lucky than most." Alfred felt Ivan's breath on his face. "Most people usually don't come back alive." Alfred gulped. Ivan glared and threw Alfred onto the bed. "You make me sick." He sneered. Alfred said nothing as Ivan started to drag him out the room. Ivan dragged him out onto the deck and bent down to pick up the rope used to tie him to the flag pole. Alfred squirmed at the sight of the metal rod. "Be still!" Ivan commanded. Alfred immediately went limp.

Alfred didn't know what to do. His mind screamed at him to run, to move, to do anything. His body didn't respond to what his brain was saying. His arms felt like lead weights. Ivan smirked as he shoved Alfred against the wall. He turned Alfred around and looked for them hem of his boxers. Ivan pulled upward, proceeding to give Alfred a wedgie. He hooked the rope into Alfred's boxers and started to tug on the rope, causing Alfred to fly upwards towards the top of the pole. Alfred screeched like a banshee when he reached the top. Ivan laughed evilly as he let Alfred hang there, the late night breeze waving him like a flag. (Tehee…)

Ivan walked into the bedroom and passed out, same as Alfred. As he slept, he dreamt of many things. But I would like to share a specific dream with you…

Ivan's Dream

_Ivan walked through a garden of bright yellow sunflowers. A golden light emanated from their soft petals. Ivan looked up at the sky, expecting to be blinded by the Sun. Instead he was met with a pearly gray ocean. Ivan looked back down at the sunflowers. Ivan plucked one from its stem and twirled it between his fingers. Ivan stroked the petals. Their golden light rubbed off on Ivan's fingers. Puzzled, Ivan set down the flower and stared at his fingers. They were stained gold. "Weird… Why are my fingers turning gold from the sunflowers?" Ivan closed his eyes and sighed. When he opened his eyes back up, he screamed._

_The flowers were all dead. Their brown petals were stained with blood and the sky was no longer gray. Instead it was blood red. An unholy scream echoed through the valley of dead sunflowers. Ivan looked up from his fingers now stained with blood instead of golden sunflower essence. A little girl dashed across the valley. Suddenly she fell. Ivan sprinted to where her body lay. The girl lay there, motionless. Ivan started to sob. "Ivan…" Ivan looked at the girl. "Ivan, the truth is what you seek, da?" Ivan nodded. "Look for the twin seas of sapphire. Beneath them lies the truth…" Ivan bit his lip and stared at the little girl as she died in his arms. When she took her last breath, her body disappeared. Ivan choked back a sob. He stood up and walked away, looking for a place other than the valley._

_As he walked, he bumped into a girl in a pink overcoat holding a shovel and wearing an ushanka. "Privet." She said in a heavy Russian accent. Ivan looked at her. "Privet. Um, who are you?" The girl rolled her eyes. "I'm your feminine side. You can call me Vanya. Ivan frowned. "That's my name…" Vanya rolled her eyes and said," So? It's not a big deal." Ivan made a noise in the back of his throat. Vanya smiled and said," I'm the reason you can sing, cook, clean, do laundry, etc. You know, girl stuff." Ivan smiled. "That is pretty useful." Vanya's smile grew wider as she said," If you ever need me, just call. I'll be right there. But for now, I have to go take care of your insane side. We here call him Ivan #2. He's made a real mess of Sunflower Valley, hasn't he?" Ivan only nodded. "Bye Ivan!" Vanya waved at Ivan's retreating figure. Vanya turned to look at the Valley. "Now to clean this up…"_

Ivan smiled as he woke up. 'Vanya's real nice…" Ivan stifled a yawn and got up to go get Alfred down from the flagpole. Ivan walked past many crew members as he walked towards the deck. He said hi to all of them, even Gilbert who was still trying to hack into Ivan's email. Ivan walked to the base of the flagpole and started to pull on the rope. Alfred immediately came down after three or four tugs. "It's about time Ruski!" Ivan glared at Alfred. "Shut up." Alfred stuck his tongue out at Ivan. Ivan rolled his eyes and started to walk towards the kitchen. 'Mmmmm! I bet they're gonna' make chocolate chip pancakes today! I'll order Alfred's in the shape of a flag…'

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><p>Ha ha ha ha! Take that Alfred! Hope you like. If you review, I will give you a, uh... Kumajiro? Yes? No? Whatever...<p> 


	8. Spain, Beer, and Magic Markers

'_Ivan sat in a filthy alleyway. "Huh?" Ivan looked around, confused. "What am I doing here?" Ivan stood to his feet and started to walk away from the alley when a hand was placed on his shoulder. Ivan whirled around to see Alfred standing there. Ivan opened his mouth to say something, though he never got to say what he wanted. Alfred's fist connected with the Russian's jaw. Ivan brought a hand up to cover his jaw. He bit his lip and whispered," Fuck, what the Hell is wrong with you Alfred?" Alfred chuckled darkly. "What? Commie can't take it?" Ivan looked Alfred over. He seemed tanner than before. His hair was a rich brown and he was stronger than before. "What the Hell…" Ivan whispered. Alfred smiled darkly. He tore Ivan's coat off and found a long, bloodstained pipe. 'Fuck.' Ivan thought. Alfred brought the pipe down with great force but was stopped by an invisible being. Ivan blinked. Vanya was there, holding the pipe. She tore the blunt object out of Alfred's hands. Alfred growled. "Who's there?" Ivan scrambled to his feet and hurried towards Vanya. Vanya smiled weakly and handed him his pipe. Ivan took it gratefully. Vanya's smile grew brighter and she reached for her shovel. Ivan and Vanya both took a fighting stance and rushed toward Alfred. Alfred was caught off guard by the sudden running and fell backwards. Ivan and Vanya attacked full force and brought their weapons down on Alfred.' _

_Alfred's eyes shot open. "Damn it." Alfred looked over at Ivan. His thunderous snores echoed through the cave. A small smile graced his lips as he slept. Alfred's smile was bigger than Ivan's. Alfred hadn't seen Ivan smile a real smile in awhile. Alfred sighed and turned to find Texas. He felt around a bit but couldn't find them. He stood up and stumbled around a bit. He staggered towards the fire. "There they are…" He reached out and grabbed Texas. When they were safely on his nose, he looked around. "Not much different than before. Too bad." He sat next to the fire and started to kindle it. When the fire started back up, he basked in its warmth."Hey, could you pass me a fish?" Alfred's eyes widened. 'A heavy Russian accent that isn't Ivan's, not good.' Alfred turned to see a beautiful girl sitting next to Ivan. She wore a long pink coat, had a shovel on her back, and had long, light brown hair. You might remember her as Vanya. "Hello! Earth to idiot!" she said as she waved her hand in front of Alfred. Alfred's eyes narrowed. "Who are you?" A little bit of venom seeped into each word. Vanya stared at him a moment. "Ivan never told you about me?" Alfred growled. "No. Who are you?"_

"_Do you think it's weird that I know who you are but you don't know who I am?"_

"_Yes. What's your name?"_

"_I mean I guess it's partly Ivan's fault. He thinks about you all the time." Vanya smiled. "You're even in his dreams."_

_Alfred didn't listen. (Author's note: You really are stupid aren't you Alfred?) "Can you just tell me your name?"_

_Vanya sighed and nodded. "I am Vanya, Ivan's feminine side."_

Spanish docks, December 8, 2011 

"Finally!" Gilbert stepped out of theboat and threw his arms up into the air. Gilbert ran around in circles when he jumped out of the boat. He kneeled down and started to kiss the ground. Alfred joined Gilbert and kissed the dirt as well. Ivan felt nocuous, and seeing them kissing the ground didn't help. Ivan groaned clutched his stomach. "Gilbert, what are we going to do now?" Alfred smiled childishly. Gilbert smirked and bellowed," We're going drinking of course!" Alfred jumped up and down and shouted something about "finally gonna' be able to drink something that isn't commiefied vodka or British rum." Gilbert took the two to a bar. Surprisingly, it wasn't quit as crazy as Alfred had hoped. Gilbert walked toward the bartender. "Ah! Senor Gilbert. How are you?" Gilbert grinned and said," I'm still awesome!" The bartender and him laughed. Alfred stared at Gilbert. "I see you've been here before…" Gilbert looked at him like he was an idiot, which he was but that's not the point. "Of course! This place is almost as awesome as me!" Ivan sighed. "Usted tiene vodka?" The bartender turned towards Ivan and said," Si." He took a bottle off the shelf and handed it to him. Ivan paid the man. 'Guess they take Russian money too.' Ivan sat in a booth and popped the top off the bottle. He took a large drink and set the bottle on the table.

Alfred browsed the over the many different kinds of beer. He skimmed each name until he came across the most interesting one. "El Latigo Negro, please." Alfred sat the bottle down. The bartender's eyes widened. "Senor that is a very old beer. Are you sure you can handle it?" Alfred smirked. "Of course!" The bartender only shook his head. Alfred handed over the money and walked towards the booth Ivan was at.

Ivan lay face down on the table, muttering incoherent things. Alfred stared at him, wondering what to do. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a marker. He lifted Ivan's head up and went to work.

"Mmmmm…" Ivan woke up groaning. Alfred still had him at the booth. Gilbert sat there watching Ivan wake up. "Ivan, look at your face." Gilbert held out his pocket mirror. Ivan took the small object and opened it up. "Fuck you Alfred…" Gilbert started laughing. Ivan stared at his reflection begrudgingly. He had a Hitler mustache, a unibrow, a pair of huge glasses, and many different piercings on his face, all drawn in marker. He stormed off to the bathroom and washed the marker off. Alfred came out from behind Gilbert and started to laugh as hard as he did when France fell face first into a vat of mayonnaise.

Meanwhile…

"Grr… How dare they defile the face of Ivan Braginski!" Vanya came out from behind the ranting Ivan. She put a hand on his face. "If you keep this up, Insaney is going to take over you." Ivan's face contorted in pain but quickly changed into a glare. "Do not call me that." He growled. Vanya sighed and whispered," I was afraid this would happen." She took her hand off Ivan's face. "Ivan, calm down. Please try not to kill them. It was a mindless prank." Ivan shook with rage. "I don't fucking care. They should know not to mess with me!" Vanya whimpered slightly. Ivan suddenly turned and gave Vanya a hug. "Okay, I won't kill them." He released the girl and walked out of the bathroom. 'But I didn't say I wouldn't hurt them.' He thought pleasantly. He strode up to Alfred, who still hadn't stopped laughing.

Alfred was bent in half, trying to quiet himself when Ivan came up to him. Ivan glared at the boy. His glare suddenly shifted from Alfred to Gilbert, who immediately stopped his 'kesese' laugh. "Listen you two, I promised someone very special that I wasn't going to kill you. I will try my hardest to keep that promise. But I didn't promise that I would not hurt you." Gilbert gulped while Alfred wiped a tear away. "Heh… Calm down Ruski. Enjoy something to drink." Ivan walked closer towards Alfred and flicked him in the nose. Alfred glared at him. "Killjoy."

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><p>Translations<p>

Usted tiene vodka: Do yo have any vodka

El Latigo Negro: The Black Whip, not a real beer

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><p>Another chapter. Yay! Insaney made an appearance! Well, hope everyone in America had an awesome Christmas. If you review, Alfred's magic marker will be yours.<p> 


	9. GLORY

_Alfred stared at Vanya. "W-What did you say?" Alfred whispered, astonished. Vanya glared and said," You heard me just fine." Alfred clutched his head and rocked slowly on his heels. Vanya laughed at Alfred and his reaction. Alfred raised his head to glare at the girl. "If you are his feminine side, prove it." Vanya pursed her lips and said," in 1967, you visited us in Russia to talk about politics. A few hours later, you had six beers and had started smoking. As you talked, he said he was going to ramp up his military power. You didn't like that, so you took your cigarette and shoved it into his cheek. You two got into a fight and he sliced your cheek with a piece of glass. You still have the scar. Afterwards, you two had hate sex." Alfred's face filled with horror and he backed up till his back was up against the cave wall. "You have one too." Vanya said, knowing Insaney would talk her ear off about telling Alfred. Alfred stifled a scream. Vanya turned to him and said," Would you like to meet her?"_

Spanish Bar

Ivan smirked at the two, thinking off the different ways to hurt them. Ivan grabbed the two by their collars and dragged them towards the door. "Wait! Let me go get my beer!" Alfred squirmed in Ivan's grasp until he let go. Ivan sighed and released Alfred to scatter across the floor. Alfred ran towards a booth and grabbed the aged beer. "Okay, I'm ready!" He shouted. He ran towards Ivan, who proceeded to grab his collar. He dragged them out of the bar and towards an alleyway. He threw them to the ground. Gilbert shook his head. "I'm way too awesome to be handled like that." Alfred wobbled a bit and stuttered," I-I think K-Kansas felt that…"

Meanwhile…

A girl around her late teens fell to the ground, knocked out cold. "Kansas? Kansas wake up!" A small boy with shoulder length, light brown hair that resembled Ivan's started shaking Kansas.

Spanish Alley

Gilbert shuffled towards the back wall of the alley and smiled nervously. "Whatcha' gonna do?" He growled quietly, sweating horribly. Alfred rolled his eyes and stumble towards Ivan, resting his body on said person. "Come on big guy. Why don't ya calm down? Here" Alfred handed Ivan the bottle of beer. Ivan snickered and ripped the bottle out of Alfred's hand and tossed it at Gilbert. Gilbert caught the glass object and clutched it to his chest like it was a lifeline. Ivan took Alfred's hand and flung him around. Alfred hit the back wall with a grunt. Ivan slowly pulled his faucet pipe out of his sleeve. He glided it over Alfred's shoulder until it was under his chin. He jerked the pipe so Alfred was looking up at him.

"This won't be as much fun if you don't fight back." Alfred got the idea and jumped up from the dingy alley floor. He charged at Ivan who was sent flying through the air. Ivan fell face first into the burgundy brick. He put both his hands on the wall and ripped five bricks out. He slowly unwound his scarf to reveal many scars littered around his neck. Alfred shuddered at the sight. Ivan wound one of the bricks into his scarf and swung it around his head. The brick was released into the air and found its way into Alfred's forehead. The nation let out a yelp and fell to the floor. Gilbert crawled towards Alfred and shook him violently. "Alfred you idiot. Now I'm left alone with Russland!" Ivan stood behind Gilbert, waving his pipe dangerously over Gilbert. "KolKolKolkolKolKol…" Gilbert turned to look at the large nation and shook involuntarily.

"Please, Russland. Don't do this." Gilbert whimpered.

"I'm sorry Gilbert. It has to be done." Ivan raised the pipe over Gilbert, and stopped. Gilbert flinched and held his hands over his face.

"Russland?" Gilbert asked. He turned towards Ivan. The Russian stared at Gilbert curiously. Gilbert shuddered under the pair of purple orbs. "Russ-"Ivan brought the metal rod down on Gilbert's head. Gilbert fell into Alfred's lap and lay motionless. Ivan chuckled darkly before he felt his consciousness pull. Ivan blinked and stared at the sight before him. "Did Gilbert and Alfred fall asleep on each other for real this time?"

_Da that is what happened._ Ivan heard a voice laugh in his head. Ivan growled.

"Are you out of your mind?"

_Nyet. As you can see, I'm clearly in it._

"Don't do again." Ivan sighed, putting his pipe back in its hiding place. He picked the two up and set them against the wall. "Great. Stuck in Spain with no idea where to go whatsoever." Ivan looked to the west and groaned. Rays of purple littered the orange sky with hues of blue light creeping into the crevices of the purple streams. Ivan slid to the ground in between the unconscious pair.

Ivan closed his eyes and let his head rest on the burgundy brick. When he opened them back up, Vanya was standing there, two inches away from his face. The nation's eyes widened immensely and he opened his mouth to scream. Vanya placed both hands on his mouth and shushed him.

"Dude! Shut up! Do you want the cops to show up and arrest you?" Ivan stared at the girl, puzzled. Vanya backed away from his face and started to dig through her pockets. With a squeal of triumph, Vanya pulled a newspaper.

_**RUSSIA AND AMERICA CAUGHT IN U.K. WITH MURDERED PRIME MINISTER AND DAUGHTER**_

_Russia and America were caught in London holding the bodies of England's Prime Minister and the Prime Minister's daughter, Melinda. America held a pistol and was covered with blood. Russia cradled Melinda's body to himself with obvious guilt plastered on his face._

Ivan narrowed his eyes. "This is not good. Vanya, were did you find this newspaper?" Vanya thought for a moment. She then turned her head away from Ivan and down at her feet.

"In England." Ivan hummed and started to read again

_Russia and America are now the enemies of every country on Earth, especially England. Every person is advised to keep their eyes opened for the two. They will be charged with two counts of murder and will be put in jail for five months with Russia's marriage crazed sister, Belarus. A reward will be offered to the person who brings the two in. Anybody caught helping the two will be put in jail with them. Remember, Belarus's favorite toy is a knife._

Ivan's eye twitched as he fell on top of Alfred. "Not good. Not good. We're gonna die. We're gonna die."

"You know I'm not gonna hang out with you if you keep acting all suicidal." Ivan glared at her and picked up the matyroshka doll next to her foot. The word "GLORY" was painted on its back in Russian. The front was a female soldier in the Soviet Union's issued uniform. Ivan glided his thumb down the doll's side until he came to the bottom. He held the bottom up and looked at what was painted. A yellow hammer and yellow sickle were interlocking. The sight sickened Ivan but soothed him somewhat on the inside. All of the sudden, Ivan heard a groan on his right. Vanya gasped and handed Ivan a Spanish newspaper while she ripped the British one from his hands. Ivan sat up quickly as Vanya turned to leave.

"Bye," Vanya winked at Ivan and disappeared, leaving a trail of scarlet dust to take flight across the gentle Spanish breeze. Alfred blinked violently and growled.

"Ugh! Russia, why'd you have to throw a brick at my head?" Russia sat silently, not knowing what Alfred meant by that. "Jeeze, it hurts man!" Ivan mentally smiled. "Alfred," Said nation turned his attention to Ivan. "Yes?" Ivan cursed under his breath and said," We're going to spend the night in this alley." Alfred frowned.

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"Why do you want to spend the night in an alley?"

Ivan sighed. 'No use in fighting with him. He's jus gonna get his way anyway.' Ivan handed the Spanish newspaper to Alfred. Alfred made a face and said," I hate translating." The American skimmed the article quickly and shoved it back in Ivan's arms. "Nuh uh! No way! They can't be throwing us in jail with your psycho sis! I'm the hero, not the villain. I can't be wanted all over the world! If anyone should be hated, it should be you!" Alfred dug his index finger into Ivan's chest. Ivan shooed his hand away from his chest and pushed Alfred down. "You and Gilbert need to rest. Lie down and go back to sleep. Or do I have to put you through another round of brick toss?" Alfred shook his head furiously and lay down next to Gilbert.

When Alfred heard loud snores next to him, he turned to face Ivan. 'Stupid Ruski.' Alfred mumbled insults about the country until the steady sound of Ivan's heartbeat lulled him to sleep. Vanya stepped out from behind a trash bin and held back her fan girl squeal. "It's so cute! I can't believe I'm seeing this. No wonder Hungary, Japan, and Taiwan love yaoi!"

"You and your odd preferences." The sound of another voice made Vanya jump. She quickly turned to look her roommate in the eye. "Insaney! Don't do that! You scared me."

"Da that was the point. And don't call me Insaney! You know my name." Vanya pouted and turned her back on the male. "Okay, so you don't like being called Insaney, but everyone else does." Insaney glared at Vanya's back. Vanya turned around and said," Fine! I'll call you by your real name, Vadim." Vadim smirked triumphantly. "Come on, we need to be getting back inside Ivan before dawn. We don't want those stupid Spaniards to see us." Vanya nodded and took Vadim's hand.

"_Good morning, good night. We now must take flight. Take us home by this magical song. Now hurry, we mustn't be long. It is almost dawn and home is where we belong."_

In a flash of green and red dust, the two vanished.

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><p>Well, there you have it. First to review will get the pairing of their choice incorporated into the story. ^^<p> 


	10. Meet Emily F Jones the Cowgirl

_Alfred shook his head and sighed. "No way! If she's anything like you, I defiantly do not want to meet her." Vanya pouted. _

"_Well! You didn't need to be rude about it." Vanya huffed, twirling her hair out of habit. "You just count yourself lucky that you don't have to deal with an Insaney of your own,"_

"_Vanya…" A deep voice growled warningly. Vanya and Alfred turned to look at Vadim. Vanya smiled sheepishly._

"_Ah, Vadim is his real name Al. Remember that and you won't be hassled every day." Alfred blinked as he looked at the other personality of Ivan. 'This is too weird.'_

"_Is there anymore of you guys that I need to know about?" _

"_Yeah! Me! "Vadim sighed while Vanya shook her head._

_A boy that looked about fifteen-years-old came out from behind Vadim. He smiled broadly and was very boisterous and loud and cute… Alfred mentally slapped himself. 'Anything that looks like, is part of, or acts like Ivan must never be thought as cute.' Vanya frowned and said," Alfred, meet-"_

"_Vladimir get down from there!" Vadim yelled. The boy was hanging from a stalactite and his feet dangled. _

"_Make me, Pops." Vadim's face turned blood red. Vladimir chuckled and continued to swing his feet to and fro. Vanya pressed up against Alfred for protection. Vadim pulled out a faucet pipe identical to Ivan's besides the fact that it was colored with ancient blood stains._

Spanish Alley

"Hey commie, whatcha' got there?" Alfred's voice pierced the early morning air. "Come on," Alfred huffed, poking Ivan's face. "What is it?" Ivan turned over to face Alfred.

"A Matyroshka doll!" Ivan growled. Alfred knew that he wasn't a morning person. Alfred recoiled at the sudden burst from Ivan. He quickly collected himself and snatched the doll out of Ivan's hand. Ivan's eyes widened as he tried to take back the small object. "Uh-uh, you ain't getting' this back." Alfred held the doll up for closer inspection. A girl with long, blonde hair that reached down to her knees was wearing a T-shirt with an American flag design on it. She wore blue, denim shorts and had red high heels.

Alfred turned the doll over and found "HOME OF THE BRAVE" painted on the back of the girl's shirt. He looked at it, confused as to why someone like Ivan would own something that was as awesome as this. "Hey, Russia?"  
>"Da America?"<p>

"Why do you have this?" Alfred held the doll up so Ivan could see it better. Ivan stared incredulously at the doll. It had gotten smaller than before and had a design of an AMERICAN slut rather than the design of a respectable RUSSIAN female soldier.

"I uh don't know." Alfred hummed and set the doll down. Ivan snatched it up and put it into one of his pockets. "So," Ivan asked. "Do you think we should wake Prussia up?" Alfred chuckled quietly and lifted Gilbert up. Ivan took Gilbert's feet while Alfred took his head. The two brought him to the docks and flung him into the water. Gilbert resurfaced a few seconds later, coughing up saltwater.

"Verdammt! What the Hell is wrong with you?" Alfred and Ivan stood there, giggling like little school girls. Gilbert swam to the edge and was helped up out of the water by Ivan. "Come on," he growled. "Let's get to Spain's place." Ivan and Alfred immediately stopped giggling and looked at one another. Gilbert looked confused. Alfred tossed the newspaper to Gilbert. Gilbert held onto the paper unhappily. "Shit, this is bad. We are going to have to disguise you two. Let's get back onto the ship."

The S.S. Awesome

Alfred and Ivan followed Gilbert to a room on the ship. Gilbert pushed the door open and ushered the two nations inside. Three large body mirrors hung on the north wall. To their right a large dresser stood, filled with all kinds of different clothes. Next to it was a droor filled with fake mustaches and beards. To their left were a sink, a few chairs, and about a million hair care products.

"Alfred, go over to the sink and bring one of these chairs with you." Alfred nodded and did as he was told. "Ivan, go to the dresser and pick out an outfit for Alfred." Ivan nodded and smiled darkly. Alfred's eyes bulged out of his head as he frantically said," You're letting the commie pick out my outfit?" Gilbert chuckled mischievously. "You get to pick out his outfit as well." Alfred sighed, obviously relieved at the news.

As the two conversed, Ivan was busy picking out an outfit for Alfred. He skimmed the large selection and pulled out the perfect outfit for our young little hero. Ivan flung the outfit in front of Alfred. Alfred's face burned red and he yelled," No! No, no, no, no!" I'm not wearing that!"

"You have to little Amerika." Ivan said in a sickly-sweet tone. Alfred glared at the cloth and grumbled a quick "Fine." Gilbert snickered and sat Alfred down in the chair, bringing out a curling iron. "What is that for?" Alfred asked. The Prussian shook his head and laughed," You'll find out soon enough." Alfred shuddered and sat in the chair. Gilbert popped his hands and started to wash Alfred's hair.

When the time consuming task of washing, drying, and curling Alfred's hair was finished, Ivan handed the American his outfit. Alfred begrudgingly snatched the outfit from the smirking Russian. He found a private room and exchanged his totally awesome BOY clothes for the new totally un-awesome GIRL clothes.

"There, happy?" Alfred walked out of the room. Gilbert and Ivan turned to face him (her?). Gilbert took one glance at Alfred and a stream of blood dripped from his nose. Ivan looked totally unfazed, though in his mind's eye he felt a twinge of attraction towards the young American.

Alfred wore a white tube-top with his bomber jacket over it. A short, emerald skirt swung down to just above the knees. Russia smiled and snatched Texas off of Alfred's face.

"You're going to have to wear contacts," Ivan smirked. "Emily." Alfred's eyes widened.

"That's going too far! First my clothes, then Texas, then my awesome name. What's next? My virginity?" Ivan's left eye twitched.

"No," he replied coldly. "Your bomber jacket." A small cry came from Alfred's lips.

"Quite complaining. We _are_ going to replace Texas with something else." Gilbert growled and walked to the dresser. He tore through its contents until his hand skimmed the rim of the cowboy hat. "Here," Gilbert said while tossing it at Alfred. Alfred put it on his head and smiled brightly. "You're welcome." Gilbert sighed.

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><p>Review please. Russia demands it. If anybody has any ideas for future chappies, feel free to tell me.<p> 


	11. Spraytans

"_You're dead! You hear me, dead!" Vadim growled and lunged at the teen. _

_"You can't catch me, Old Man!" Vanya gasped while Alfred pulled her closer. Alfred knew just how bad his Ivan could be, but Vadim had to be worse. Vladimir stuck his tongue out at said male while flipping and spinning around. "Bet you can't do that Pops!"_

_Vadim growled again and threw his pipe at Vladimir. It flew straight at his head. Vladimir moved just in time so the pipe missed him by a mere inch. Vladimir clutched his chest and glared at his superior._

_"Are you fucking insane?" he huffed. "You could've killed me!"_

_"Too bad you moved…" Vadim grumbled as he trudged over to his pipe and pulled it out of the wall._

_Alfred's heart was pounding as he let go of Vanya. He rubbed his eyes and sat down._

_'How does Ivan deal with that? It's like a three-ringed circus in his head!' _

S.S. Awesome

"Okay Ivan, now it's your turn." Emily said with a devious smirk plastered on her face. "Alright Gil, put him in the chair." She ordered. Gilbert did as he was told and ushered Ivan into the salon chair.

"What are you planning to do with him?" Gilbert asked nervously. He knew if He didn't do what Emily said, he would pay for it. 'Wait a second,' he thought. 'If I do as she says, Russland is gonna kill me too! Wow, this is a lose-lose situation…' Gilbert frowned and waited for Emily to answer.

"Dye his hair dark brown and give him brown contacts," Ivan's eyes widened.

"I can't be a brunette! It will clash with my clothing!" Emily rolled her eyes and smiled a bitter-sweet smile.

"You're gonna have to. You're my bitch for the day!" Gilbert face palmed while Ivan sat there, looking shocked. Emily walked over to the dresser and picked out a pair of jeans and a white, button up, short sleeved shirt. While she did, Gilbert started to wash Ivan's hair.

"Oh and Gilbert, make sure to give him a spray tan." Ivan started to freak out.

"That is crossing the line Alfred! I refuse to let you put bronzer on me."

"But it does make sense," Gilbert interjected. "We are in Spain. It would make you look native to the country." Ivan folded his arms over his chest.

"Fine…" he pouted.

A good four hours later, the trio walked off the boat and into the city

"Do you know where we are, Gilly?" Emily asked.

'Wow,' Ivan thought. 'For an idiot, the guy is a great actor…'

Gilbert blushed slightly at the nickname. "No. I just know that it's a small town that's not on the world map. Antonio said that he liked his privacy." 'Even if he loves to party…' Gilbert thought.

"Do you know where he lives?" Ivan asked.

"Yeah, it's the first house you see when going out into the country side."

"Alright, let's get a bus to take us to the edge of the city." Emily said. Gilbert sighed and shook his head.

"Can't, it's such a small town that the people walk everywhere." Emily shrugged.

"Then let's start walking!"

**(A/N: And cue the innuendo!) And so the trio set off to find Antonio's house, ready to take on any challenge that stood in their way…**

"Are we there yet?" Emily moaned.

"Nyet"

"Nein"

"How much farther?"

"Alfred, would you just be patient? Only a few more miles till we reach Antonio's house." Ivan sighed. Emily slapped her hand across Ivan's face. "Ow!" Ivan screamed. "What was that for?"

"It's Emily, sweetheart," Emily said with a façade of sweetness spilling out. Ivan flinched mentally at what Al- I mean Emily said. Then Ivan came to the depressing realization.

"That's right," he groaned. "I'm your b-b…" No matter how hard Ivan tried, he couldn't bring himself to say it.

"That's right! You're my bitch!" Emily's voice pierced through Ivan's. Ivan sighed and tried to shrug off what the American said and kept saying.

"Okay, okay that's enough of that. Hey, there's Antonio's place!" Gilbert shouted gleefully. He dashed towards the door while Ivan and Emily trailed behind him. Gilbert stopped right when his nose was about to be crushed into the door.

„Schlechtes Note Trio rah rah rah! Hageln nach thee Markierungsfahnen von drei, Spanien, Preußen und Frankreich! "Gilbert smirked while Emily looked at him, confused as to why he said it in German. Her thoughts were interrupted when Antonio burst out the door.

"Gilbert! How are you?" Antonio gushed as he grabbed hold of his friend. Gilbert blushed and tried to push the Spaniard off.

"I'm great, bud. This is my… Friend, um, Alex! Yeah, this is Alex and his girlfriend Emily."

Ivan could've done a spit take. Instead, he held his head high and shook Antonio's hand. Antonio looked confusedly at the other's hand. He shrugged and took it firmly. He pulled Ivan into a hug and said," Welcome to my home Alex!" He turned and looked at Emily and bowed. "And you too, Emily! Come in! Come in! I must give you a tour of my house!" Ivan and Emily shared a quick glance before they reluctantly went inside.

As they walked in, an explosion of yellow and red filled their vision. Gilbert smiled broadly while Emily walked around curiously. Ivan face palmed many times before he started to look around.

"Red and yellow, why did it have to be red and yellow? If I find my former flag in here, I'm going to have a stroke…" Ivan mumbled. He straightened up and walked over to a set of tapestries that hung off the wall.

He looked closer at one and saw Antonio and… Francis? It looked like the two were fighting over something. And I mean really fighting over it. Swords were drawn and they were at each other's throats. Antonio cast one hard blow and Francis fell to the ground. Antonio's army came up from behind him and one soldier was saying something. Ivan racked his brain trying to translate.

"Sir, we have won the territory in Italy. The nation of France has been defeated!"

Antonio looked less than happy about winning the new territory. But his dark mood was quickly exchanged for his usual chipper one.

"Alright men, what are we going to name this new territory?" The men wore confused expressions. "I know!" exclaimed Antonio. "Romano!" The men looked at each other and cheered their new territory's name. "Romano!"

On the second tapestry, Antonio held a chibi Lovino trying to get out of Antonio's grasp. Antonio wore a slightly troubled expression as he tried to keep Lovino still.

On the third tapestry were Gilbert, Antonio, Francis, Lovino, Ludwig, and Feliciano all standing there like it was a family portrait. Antonio was in the middle, Gilbert was to his right, Francis was to his left, Ludwig was kneeling down on one knee that pointed to the left, Feliciano sat to Ludwig's right, and Lovino was to Ludwig's left sitting on both knees with his arms crossed while blushing madly.

"Wow…" Ivan whispered. "That is one messed up family isn't it?"

"Alex, sweetie, I need to talk to you, please." Ivan jumped slightly at the hand on his shoulder and the breath on his ear. He slowly slid his pipe back in his sleeve. "Come on Alex!" Emily whined, pulling on his sleeve. Ivan sighed and turned to face his annoyance.

"Yes, pet?" He replied while taking her hand in his. "Where do you want talk?" Ivan dug his nails into her palm. Emily let out a silent cry.

"Stop, please." She cried into his ear. "I need to talk to you outside." Ivan nodded and let Emily pull him outside. She turned to face him and said," Ivan, if we are going to pretend to date you have to be an awesome actor," Ivan stared at Emily. "What I mean is we have to k-kiss and cu-cuddle like we really love each other…" Ivan kept staring.

"What?" was all Ivan could muster. Everything else in his head was a jumbled mess of feelings. Did he like what heard? Was he upset? Did he want to rip Emily's head off? He didn't know. "Can't we just stage a fight and pretend like we are mad at one another?" Emily shook her head.

"Absolutely not, I like happy endings! That's when the hero gets all he ever wanted…" Emily looked down at her feet.

"Then let's try this out," Ivan pulled Emily closer until their lips met. Her eyes widened but quickly closed when Ivan deepened the kiss. She put her arms around his neck until he broke away. A crimson blush was peeking out from behind the bronzer. Emily stifled a laugh. Ivan sure was a good actor, and Emily knew that the kiss didn't mean a thing. It was just a guy and a girl who shared a kiss, nothing special. Trouble was, Emily was an Alfred, and she was a he.

Alfred shook slightly at the thought. He brought his hand up to adjust Texas, who was usually there to give him peace of mind. But Texas was nowhere to be found, instead a cowboy hat rested firmly on his head. "Fuck…" He whispered harshly. "Good job, I guess. You are a pretty good actor. But all actors … or actresses pale in comparison to me!"

Ivan didn't listen. He knew Alfred was only trying to cover up what just happened with words; useless words. What would've happened if it was longer? How far would it have gone? They hated each other. That was the way it had to be. It wouldn't work anyway.

"Alex, Emily, where are you?" Antonio's voice came around the corner and Alfred panicked. He ran around a little bit until he saw Gilbert's silver hair. "I'll check over here, Gil. You go check the house."

"Okay Tonio." Suddenly an idea came to Alfred. Antonio didn't know his secret yet!

"Sorry about this Ivan," Ivan hiked an eyebrow. Antonio's head popped out from behind the corner the same time Alfred pressed his lips against Ivan's. Antonio gasped but it soon turned into Francis's trademarked "I'm A Perv and I Enjoy Watching This Kind Of Stuff" laugh. You know the one.

Alfred broke the kiss and acted like he was going to kill Antonio if he ever told anyone. Antonio backed away slowly, giggling like a child.

"Okay, I won't tell anyone, promise." Antonio held a hand over his heart as he said the last part. Ivan sighed and apologized for "Emily's" behavior. "No problem," he said casually. "Would you like to come inside for some beer?" Alfred nodded his head furiously while his tongue stuck out the side of his mouth. "Well come on in!" Antonio bellowed. Alfred followed closely behind the departing Spaniard while Ivan lagged behind, lost I his own trail of thought.

'That kiss…' he thought. 'Was weird.' He reached up and touched his lips.

"Alex, sweetie, hurry up!" Alfred growled. Ivan sighed and jogged after them. Antonio showed them to the kitchen table.

"Wait here," he whispered. "I'll be right back." Antonio walked away quietly and came back with an empty clay pot. He looked at Alfred and Ivan and winked while filling it up at the kitchen sink. "Heh heh …" he snickered deviously. "I'm off to find Gil," he chuckled. Antonio snuck around the corner and waited for Gilbert to come through the backdoor. A squeak from behind Ivan made him turn.

"Hey, have you guys seen Antonio?" Alfred batted his eyes and pointed in Antonio's direction. "Thanks…" he said, creeped out slightly by the way Alfred acted. He trotted over to the corner and-

**SPLASH!** Antonio dumped the whole pot all over Gilbert.

"Uh, you are an ass, Tonio!" Antonio giggled. Alfred busted out laughing while Ivan sat there, looking annoyed.

"What's the matter Alex? You look upset!" Ivan glared at Alfred and gestured to the beads of water running down his face. "Oh don't be such a baby! It's only water!" Alfred's mood suddenly darkened. "That could be a problem though…" Ivan stared at Alfred questioningly. Alfred shook his head and took his phone. Ivan snatched it out of his hand and stared at the screen. The bronzer started to drip down his face leaving a trail of snow white skin. Antonio stopped giggling to stare at Alfred and Ivan.

"Uh oh…" Gilbert whispered. Antonio looked at Gilbert.

"Spray tan? Gilbert, who is this man?" Gilbert glanced at Ivan, then to Alfred, then back to Antonio.

"Spain," Antonio's eyes widened. Gilbert never said his country name unless he meant business. "This is Russia. And his girlfriend is really America. I'm sure you've heard of the murder." Antonio nodded and waited for Gilbert to continue. "Well, being the awesome guy that I am, I decided to help them. Now all I'm asking is that you don't rat us out. That would be totally unawesome." Antonio took everything in and nodded.

"I will help you, but we might have a slight problem." The trio looked at him. "I'm throwing a huge party in a couple of days and every country that's any country will be there." Gilbert groaned will Alfred banged his head on the table.

"Wait, if everyone knows I'm a dude, why can't I get some real clothes?" The others shrugged. "Ugh, fine!" Ivan pinched Alfred's leg under the table and smirked as the younger nation let out a shriek. Antonio and Gilbert ignored the two and started picking out beer for the party.

"Oh, this one sounds good."

"Sure, but this one tastes best!"

"Really?"

"Like totally!"

"Don't ever do that again…"

"Okay, Jeeze! I can take a hint…"

"Whatever, let's pick out what kind of food there _has_ to be!"

Ivan interrupted them. "Really, you two are discussing the party while we're trying to figure out a way to not get caught?"Gilbert frowned.

"Well, when you put it like that…" Alfred suddenly jumped up looking panicked.

"I just thought of something. What happens when Belarus comes looking for her brother?" Ivan's eyes widened and he grabbed Alfred's arm, intending to never let go. Antonio put a hand over Gilbert's mouth in an effort to keep him from laughing his ass off.

"Don't worry Ivan. Almost every country has a Belarus-proof lock on each of their doors and windows. You know, just in case she ever decides to visit. They were invented after that one World Conference…"

_**Flash Back Time! (Fan girlish Scream!)**_

_The world meeting went on like any other. Romano was screaming at Spain, Russia was tormenting the Baltics, America was trying to break the World Record of eating the most hamburgers in an hour, France was trying to grope Liechtenstein, and Switzerland was pointing his revolver at France's head threatening him to stop being a pedophile or he would have his head blown off. You know, the normal stuff. _

_Belarus walked around the conference room holding up her knife for all to see. "Where is my big brother? I need to ask him a question!" She walked towards England and poked his back with her knife._

_"You wanker, what the hell are you…" England turned around and started to shake involuntarily. "Oh, Belarus, what is it that y-you w-want?"_

_Belarus narrowed her eyes and growled, "Big Brother. Where is he?" England nodded his head and pointed a shaky finger in Russia's direction. "Thank you, maybe this time you get to live." England smiled weakly._

_"Anytime…" He whispered. _

_Belarus stomped over to her brother and the Baltics. "Oh, Belarus! Hi! You look beautiful today." Lithuania started to bombard the girl with compliments that she paid no mind to. Estonia and Latvia tried to pull him away from Belarus who held her knife close to his face._

_"Leave us. I need to speak to Big Brother alone." Latvia nodded and tried to drag Lithuania away. Estonia shook his head and walked away. "Now then," Belarus sang. "Big Brother, marry me!" A hunger appeared in her eyes and she started to grab his hand. Russia pulled away quickly and started to back away slowly. "Marry me, marry me, marry me, marry me, marry me!" Belarus started to chant. Russia ran towards America and hid behind his back. _

_"Whoa, commie what's the matter?" Russia trembled slightly and started to cry into America's back. America, confused by the nation's behavior, started to pat his head. "Don't worry big guy, I'll protect you."_

_"Get away from Brother Russia! He's mine!" America sighed when he saw Belarus coming. He quickly cocked his pistol and held it tightly, just in case he had to use it. "Brother, come with me and marry me! Why do you have to be such a jerk?" Russia didn't respond. He only held on tighter to America._

_"Belarus, he doesn't want to marry you. Leave him alone." Belarus screamed and lunged at America. America quickly pulled his pistol out and shot at Belarus. The girl dodged it swiftly and kicked the gun out of his hand._

_"Hey, leave them alone! America's right, Russia doesn't want to marry you!" Sea land's voice pierced the air. Belarus spun around quickly and threw her knife at the boy. England pulled him out of the way right as the knife almost touched his nose. Belarus hopped onto the long conference table. She stomped down the long, wooden strip towards Romania. She held him up and started to shake him, digging her nails into his shoulders. Romania narrowed his eyes and bit down hard on Belarus's arm. His fangs sunk don deep and she threw him off of herself._

_She hurled herself off the table and flipped it over. Japan grabbed his katana and brought it down next to her. "Calm down." He said simply. Belarus's face turned bright red and she flipped out. She ran around the room and beat up any body in her way. She ripped chunks of the wall out and threw them at the other countries. _

_At one point, Canada coughed and she caught it. She marched up to him and slapped his face. A large red print formed and he started to cry. That tore it for America. He picked Belarus up by her hair and tossed her out the door."No one does that to my brother and gets away with it!" Everyone sat silently as Belarus was handled by security. _

_"Okay, I think it's time we do something about home security." England said._

_**End of Flashback Time**_

Alfred, Ivan, and Gilbert looked at one another. "Oh yeah…"

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><p>Translation<p>

„Schlechtes Note Trio rah rah rah! Hageln nach thee Markierungsfahnen von drei, Spanien, Preußen und Frankreich": Bad Touch Trio rah rah rah! Hailing after thee, flags of three. Spain, Prussia, France!

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><p>Ooooooohhhhhh, Alfred and Ivan kissed! Well whatever. Review, and I'll give you a non-roach filled burger grilled medium-well. That one was for dyslexic-carmie.<p> 


	12. Ice Cream

_Suddenly, a pipe flew across the room and landed in the wall beside Vladimir, again. Everybody turned to look at Vadim who had a heavy scowl on his face. _

"_What? I didn't do it!" He growled, offended that those people would think such a sloppy attack belonged to him. Vanya cocked her head to the side._

"_If it wasn't you, who was it?" A large crash sounded and Vanya lunged forward and clung to Alfred again. Alfred wrapped his arms around her and whispered calming words into her ear._

"_I can't get any sleep with you banging around Alfred." Ivan screamed. Ivan's eyes widened and he asked," Who the hell are you people?" He gestured towards Vadim and Vladimir. Vadim's scowl deepened._

"_I thought you were smarter than that, Ivan." He said angrily. Ivan backed away while he gaped at Vadim. "Da, that is right Ivan. I am you, and so is he." Vadim jerked a thumb in Vladimir's direction. Ivan narrowed his eyes and pulled Vanya over to him._

"_Vanya, what is he talking about?" Vanya looked down and frowned. "Vanya? Vanya, why won't you answer me?" Vanya's frowned deepened._

"_The kill joy over there is Vadim and the annoying one is Vladimir." Ivan nodded his head._

"_Da, I have already met Vadim."_

"_Oh, interesting. Well then, you get to at least meet one new person. And yes Ivan, he is part of you too." Ivan frowned, unhappy to discover a new annoyance. _

"_Whatever just make sure the smaller one doesn't get near my memories." 'Or I will crack his skull open and leave as he writhes on the floor in agony.' Vanya smacked Ivan._

"_I can hear you ya 'know!" _

"_Great…"_

Spain's House

"So now that we know Antonio is gonna help us, let's get you all spray tanned up Russland!" Gilbert bellowed. He reached into one of Antonio's cupboards and pulled out a bottle of bronzer. Ivan sighed, defeated.

"Gilbert, how come you have bronzer here?" Alfred inquired. Gilbert smiled sheepishly.

"Old attempts at trying to get a tan." Alfred's mouth formed an "o" shape before he started laughing hysterically. "Shut it, Alfred!" Alfred wiped a tear from his eye and tried to calm down. He failed epically. Ivan narrowed his eyes as Alfred got up and walked over to the fridge, looking for food to stuff his face with. When he returned to the table, Ivan spit into Alfred's hand and wiped Alfred's face.

"Aww, dude what was that for?" Ivan raised his hand so only Gilbert and Antonio could see. Antonio put a hand over his mouth and Gilbert smirked smugly. Alfred looked at the two. "Why are you smiling?" Ivan sighed and turned his hand over. Against Alfred's hand was a long, golden mark that was supposedly Alfred's "natural" tan. Alfred drooped and tore his hand away from Ivan.

"Look who's all high and mighty now!" Gilbert said, hopping up onto the table. Antonio kicked one of the legs of the table out and Gilbert came toppling down. Alfred started laughing again. Antonio did the same. Ivan sighed.

'I am stuck with a bunch of idiots.'

'_It's not all your fault_.' A deep voice answered back.

'You are not Vanya…'

'_Do you mean Anya? Of course I am not her. I am Comrade Vadim, otherwise known as,' _Vadim hesitated slightly. '_Insaney.'_ Ivan's eyes widened slightly.

'You're the reason I had that terrifying dream.' Ivan thought angrily.

'_The Sunflower dream was not my work. No, that was the work of a deceased spirit, with the help of you.' _

'What do you mean it was my fault? Who was the deceased spirit?' Ivan pressed, confused to have met _another _person that lived in his head.

'_The deceased spirit was the little girl that was killed. Her name is Melinda. The reason you helped is because your never ending guilt has taken over your dream world.' _Ivan blinked.

'Okay then…' Before he could carry on the conversation, he felt a hand grabbing his arm.

"Come on Russia! Antonio is taking us out for ice cream!" Alfred bounced around excitedly while yelling at Gilbert and Antonio to hurry up. Ivan froze at the blonde's touch. His heart fluttered relentlessly in his chest as he stared at the teen's hand. Ivan shook his head and pulled his arm away from the overexcited nation. Alfred gave him an odd look before he turned to Antonio.

"Um, if we are going out for ice cream, I am washing this stuff off of my face." Ivan stated before going to the kitchen sink. The other three shrugged and started to get their things ready. When Ivan finished, he stared into the small mirror located above the sink. He smiled and raked a hand through his hair. "I look pretty handsome with brown hair, da?"

"In your dreams!" a rather obnoxious voice chimed in behind him.

«Сволочь, стоп так собственной личностью центризовала.» Alfred looked at him questioningly.

"What?" He said, clueless. Ivan sighed and turned away. A fluttering sensation started up again in his chest as a light flush covered his face. Alfred shrugged and took his hand, pulling him outside. Antonio drove up in an old, rusty Ford and motioned for everyone to get in. "Shotgun! Called it!" Alfred bellowed as he hopped into the passenger seat.

"Oh hell nein. You are not getting shotgun. That's my seat!" Gilbert growled as he threw the young American out of the car and took his place beside Antonio. Alfred pouted like a child and got in the trunk with Ivan.

"Everyone ready to go?" Antonio asked.

"Da."

"Ja."

"Yeah."

"Alright then, let's get this thing started!" Antonio jabbed the key in ignition and turned it sharply. The car started to purr and Antonio took off.

Alfred smiled brightly as the warm; country wind blew on his face. He glanced at Ivan and his smiled was wiped off his face. Ivan was staring at him with a strange look. Amethyst orbs were filled with mixed emotions as he looked into worried, blue pools. Alfred reached out to touch the Russian. Ivan pulled away quickly though, causing the American to wear a shocked expression. Ivan's gaze strengthened as Alfred grimaced.

"Are, Are you okay?" Alfred whispered in a voice that usually belonged to his brother. Ivan sighed and dropped the stare. Alfred drooped and turned away. The two sat in silence for awhile until Alfred heard the truck make sputtering noises. Black smoke came out of the exhaust pipe and the truck pulled to a jerky stop.

"Dammit, looks like we are stuck here unless we get some gas." Antonio said, lifting the hood up. "Gil, you and I are going to get some gas. Get your coat. It's almost night time and it gets cold at night. We have a long ways to go and the sooner we leave, the sooner we can get to the ice cream parlor." Gilbert nodded and got out of the car. He and Antonio started walking immediately. When Alfred saw that they were out of sight, he turned to Ivan.

"What's wrong with you?" Ivan looked back into his eyes, waiting for Alfred to understand. He needed Alfred to understand. He needed him to realize the hidden feelings that haven't escaped until now.

Alfred frowned and sat up. He narrowed his eyes and got closer to Ivan. His nose brushed up against Ivan's, causing the latter to shudder. Alfred leaned in slightly until Ivan felt his breath on his face. His heart turned violently in his chest as he waited to see what the other nation was going to do. Alfred closed his eyes and pressed up against Ivan. Ivan froze but quickly regained his composure and kissed back. Alfred pushed away when Ivan did so.

"What's wrong with you Commie?" Ivan said nothing and fell back, causing him to hit the back window of the truck. A sharp wind blew on Alfred's face and he shivered. Ivan didn't seem to notice because of his scarf. 'Bastard…' Alfred thought. Ivan turned to look at Alfred, who was giving him a pleading look.

"What?" Ivan answered coldly, making Alfred shiver more. "Oh," Ivan growled. "You are cold." Alfred nodded and wrapped his arms around himself. Ivan sighed and grabbed Alfred's hand. Taking off his scarf, he wrapped it around Alfred's neck. "There," he said flatly. "I hope you will be able to manage." Alfred didn't hear him. He was studying all of the scars around Ivan's neck. He brought his right hand up and touched one of the longer scars. Ivan's heart stopped as he felt the smaller hand brush against his neck. He let out a loud moan before swatting the American's hand away. A dark glow started to emit from him.

"Sorry…" Alfred mumbled. Ivan's aura still didn't falter though, and he intertwined his finger in Nantucket. Alfred gasped sharply before he pulled away from Ivan. The two glared at one another before they realized the hardness in their pants. Ivan's face filled with a deep crimson color that matched Alfred's perfectly.

"KESESESESESE! We're back!" Gilbert's voice sliced through the uncomfortable moment. Alfred lit up considerably and he squealed with joy.

"Ice cream, ice cream! La la la la la la!" Alfred bounced around happily in the back. Ivan thanked Gilbert mentally for destroying the awkward moment. Ivan thought that Gilbert was pretty awesome for that. Antonio filled the tank and fixed the engine easily before getting back in the car.

In no time at all, they were at the ice cream parlor. Alfred pressed his face against the glass and pointed at the ice cream of his choice. He chose the hero special. It had blue, red, and yellow sherbert ice cream in the shape of the Super Man logo. Ivan was eating a plain vanilla cone that he topped with vodka. Antonio had strawberry while Gilbert had mint chocolate chip. The four chatted idly for awhile until Alfred yawned loudly.

"Looks like we better get home before Alf- Emily falls asleep." Antonio caught himself before he said Alfred's name. The other three nodded and they walked back to the truck. Ivan helped Alfred back into the trunk and stepped in after him. Alfred smiled sleepily and lay down in the back. Ivan stared at the sleeping figure and noticed his scarf tied around the younger nation's neck. He sighed and looked into the sky. He watched as a shooting star flew across the night sky and wished silently for this whole fiasco to end.

When the truck stopped in front of the house, Iva picked Alfred up and carried him back into the small cottage. Gilbert turned to Antonio and smiled knowingly. Antonio smiled back.

"I hope Ivan finds it comforting to know that there is only one guest bedroom." Antonio whispered deviously. Gilbert's smile grew wider as he laughed his KESESESESE laugh. Gilbert hopped out of the truck and followed after Antonio.

As they entered the small house, they found Ivan laying Alfred down on the couch. "Hey Russland, there is a guest bedroom down the hall. You can set Alfred down in there." Ivan nodded and walked towards said bedroom. "Oh and Ivan," Ivan turned to look at Gilbert. "Antonio doesn't like it when people sleep on the couch. Because it was a gift and is very old, he throws a hissy fit whenever a wrinkle appears. So you can't sleep there. And by the way, that is the only other guest bedroom." At that point, Gilbert chose to KESESESESE very loudly. Ivan glared coldly at the laughing man. He stalked the rest of the way to the bedroom. He threw open the door and set Alfred down very gently on the bed. Taking off his boots and gaining his scarf back, the tall nation stole a glance at the sleeping nation. His expression was filled with bliss and Ivan's heart started to flutter in his chest again. He was actually genuinely worried that his heart was going to fall out of his chest because it was moving so quickly. He sat down next to the blonde. He reached up and touched his face. Feeling the warmth for a moment, he tore his hand away. He felt that he was not allowed to touch the perfect face. A tear streamed down his face as he clenched his teeth. He wiped it away quickly and fell next to the sleeping teen. His back was turned to Alfred when the tears started pouring out.

Unable to control himself, Ivan cried silently the whole night until he slipped into a deep sleep…

_Alfred's Dream_

'_Alfred sat in the back of an old Ford, staring at his companion to his left. Arthur smiled warmly, his emerald eyes shining with happiness. The wind was blowing gently on their faces as they sat in bliss-filled silence. Arthur turned his head to look at Alfred. Alfred looked back and their eyes met. The two leaned in slightly as their lips met. An electric surge went through Alfred when Arthurs tongue gently caressed his lips. The taller blonde opened his mouth and let the Brit in. When his tongue met the other's, the battle started. Alfred swirled his tongue around Arthur's, causing the bushy-browed man to moan deeply. Arthur broke the kiss to stare into Alfred's eyes. _

"_You look cold. Here, take my scarf." Arthur handed the ex-colony a long, light pink scarf that looked very familiar. Alfred decided to take it anyway and wrapped it around his neck. The smell of Vodka and Sunflowers filled his senses and Alfred leaned into the pastel-colored fabric. He turned back to give his thanks to the Brit, but was soon looking into the lavender colored eyes of everybody's favorite Russian. Alfred cocked his head to the side, confused as to why his Artie was replaced with a Commie._

"_Russia, what are you doing-"Alfred was cut off as pale lips met his own. Alfred's eyes widened. He quickly realized however, that he was acting like the girl. Ivan was obviously the more dominate of the two. Alfred pressed back harder until he was begging the country for entrance with his tongue. Ivan obliged excitedly and let the American explore his mouth. Alfred bucked forward, pressing his and Ivan's groins together. Alfred only thought one thing: More. Ivan straddled Alfred and kissed back more passionately, causing the latter to moan. Ivan bucked his groin against Alfred's until Alfred was moaning Ivan's name over and over. Alfred reached down and started to undo Ivan's pants-'_

Alfred shot up in bed quickly, sweat going down his face. What the hell is wrong with him? Dreaming about Ivan in such a manner caused Alfred's stomach to feel like a ball of ice rested there. He laid back down before he noticed another figure in the bed with him. Alfred looked to see Ivan's troubled face in a deep sleep. Alfred sighed at the sleeping figure and brushed a few stray hairs away from Ivan's face. He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep again, unconsciously snuggling up against the larger figure.

_Ivan's Dream_

_Ivan dashed around wildly, trying to escape the menacing voice of his sister. "Big Brother, Marry Me, marry me, marry me, marry me, marry me!" Ivan ran down a long path that was worn with age. Cracks filled about almost every inch of the cobblestone. Tears flew off Ivan's face as he bolted down the path. _

"_Katyusha, where are you?" Ivan screamed desperately. He looked back to see his insane sister catching up to him. He burst forward with a determined amount of force that sent him far ahead of his sister, who was shrieking madly. He rounded a corner and stood still. His sister ran past him in a screaming fit._

"_Ivan, over here." A small voice called. Ivan cocked his head to the side and started to follow the voice. "Hurry, we are over here." The voice called out again. He walked over to a rather large potted sunflower and found the owner of the voice-_

"_Matvey?" Mathew sat next to the potted plant. He nodded his head gently and gestured to another being that was there. Katyusha sat there, a small smile plastered on her face as she motioned for her younger brother to sit next to her. Ivan took the offer and made haste. "Katyusha, I have a problem." Ivan whispered._

"_What is it little brother?" The Ukrainian asked, a hint of worry seeping into her voice. Ivan looked paler than usual as he tried to decide if telling his sister was the best thing in the world to do. He sighed and looked back at his sister._

"_You already heard of the murders right?" Mathew and Katyusha looked at each other, then back at Ivan. Katyusha nodded. "Well, Alfred and I are stuck with each other for awhile and I…" Ivan was cut short when a loud crash sounded behind him._

"_There you are big brother. Now, marry me!" Katyusha and Mathew stood up and disappeared while Ivan started to scramble to get away from his little sister. He ran to the end of the alley and stopped when he nearly ran into the brick wall. He turned around too face his little sister. "Marry me big brother. Marry me!" Natalia lunged for her older brother and tried to kiss him-_

This time it was Ivan's turn to wake up sweaty. He shook his head and thought, 'That will never, ever happen. Natalia can dream on!' Ivan shivered a bit at the context of his thought. He looked over at the American in his bed. Alfred's arms were around his waist and his nose was buried into his back. Ivan smiled softly and laid back down.

When the two woke up in the morning, Alfred flipped out on Gilbert, Antonio was recording it with his phone, and Ivan was stuck making breakfast.

"Typical," He growled. "Of course they make the Russian do everything. But I am surprised that they trust me enough not to poison their food." An evil smile grew on Ivan's face. "Speaking of which," He walked over to his carry on bag and pulled out a very special herb that only a few people know about, including Yao Wang. "I think I will give everyone a nice cup of tea this morning." He started to make the Hystriena herb into tea and poured everyone, except himself of course, a cup of tea. "Breakfast is ready!" Ivan called out to the other three. Alfred stampeded into the kitchen, taking a seat at the table. Antonio and Gilbert walked in seconds after, each with a nice black eye. Ivan stared at Alfred, who was licking his lips while waiting for the food. Ivan sighed and set down a burger in front of Alfred.

"Awesome! Thanks man!" Ivan made a disgusted face at the food in front of the younger nation. It almost killed him to make the revolting thing. Ivan set down a plate of wurst in front of Gilbert, and a breakfast burrito in front of Antonio.

"Don't forget the tea!" Ivan smiled. Alfred shrugged and gulped down the steaming hot liquid. Gilbert looked at the cup skeptically before taking a sip. Finding nothing wrong with it, he continued to drink. Antonio did the same. Ivan sat down and started to eat his breakfast: scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, and a bottle of vodka to wash it down with.

"Hmm, I wonder what kind of nightmares they are going to have." He hummed to himself.

* * *

><p>Translation<p>

Сволочь, стоп так собственной личностью центризовала: Bastard, stop being so self centered.

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><p>Well, there you have it! These chapters are getting longer and longer!"<p> 


	13. Nightmares, A Reprise

Gilbert, Antonio, and Alfred woke up screaming. They all ran to the living room panting.

"So," Gilbert breathed. "Did you guys have nightmares to?" The other two nodded. Alfred sat down, and immediately hopped up. Antonio and Gilbert looked at the younger nation with a strange look.

"Sorry Antonio. Ivan told me that you didn't like it when people sit on the couch 'cause it is old. He said that was the reason we had to sleep in the same bed." Antonio blinked a couple times before he processed that. A look of concern grew on Gilbert's face before he nudged his friend. Antonio turned to look at him with a questioning face before he saw the mischievous glint in the German's eyes.

"Si, that is right. Heh, good thing Gilbert was here to set Ivan straight about sleeping on the couch. Or I might have flown off the handle. Here, you can sit on the floor." Antonio smiled before turning to face the American. "What was your nightmare about?"

"Oh, let me tell mine first!" Gilbert screeched. Alfred and Antonio covered their ears protectively.

"Okay, okay!" Antonio hissed.

_Gilbert's Nightmare_

'"_Ludwig, leave me alone!" Gilbert ran as fast as he could, trying to escape the evil clutches of his little brother. _

"_Nein," Germany screamed back at him. "You will never be forgiven. I will wring your neck if it's the last thing I do!" Gilbert ran towards a large maple tree and hid behind it. "Gilbert! Where the fuck are you?"_

"_Hi…" Gilbert gasped sharply and turned to face the voice. "Over here…" the voice whispered again. Gilbert turned towards the tree and stared in shock at the Canadian standing there._

"_Mattie, what the hell are doing here?" Mattie smiled sheepishly._

"_I'm here to save you." Gilbert looked at the younger nation incredulously. Mattie? Here to save __**him**__?_

"_This is no time for joking Mattie! I need to get you out of here!" Mathew pouted before slapping the shit out of Gilbert's face. The resounding smack fell upon the ears of a specific Nazi. _

_Ludwig narrowed his eyes and sprinted towards the origin of the smack. "There you are…" His voice sounded almost identical to that of a specific Belarusian. Suddenly, Gilbert felt a gloved hand tighten on his shoulder until he was thrown to the ground, agonizing pain filling his entire right side. Mathew shouted loudly before he hit the ground as well. _

"_Luddy, don't do this…" Gilbert choked out. Black spots filled his vision as blood pulled out of his mouth. Ludwig scoffed at him._

"_Why shouldn't I?" He sneered at his older brother before kicking him in the head. Gilbert grimaced when the foot made contact with his cranium, using all his strength and willpower not to scream. _

"_What did I do?" Gilbert wheezed. Ludwig growled angrily before turning away from the other._

"_I don't know. Maybe you should ask Japan's corpse or Lovino, who is cowering in the bathroom, refusing to come out." Gilbert's eyes were half lidded. The first signs of unconsciousness started to show until Germany stepped on his stomach. Gilbert burst forward and coughed up blood. He fell back painfully, causing dust to fly through the air._

"_I… I still don't know what I did to Romano…" _

_Ludwig mumbled furiously before laughing dryly. "My boyfriend, you raped __**my boyfriend!**__" Gilbert heard Mathew cough loudly and felt something warm and wet start to cover his leg. "__**And you murdered one of my best and only friends!**__" Gilbert started wheezing heavily, his lungs were going to give way any second now._

"_I'm sorry Luddy…" Gilbert wheezed._

"_Well dear brother, sorry will never cut it!" Ludwig then plunged a dagger into his older brother's head. A scream sounded before being cut of quickly…'_

Alfred's jaw was agape and his eyes were like blue fire. "I'm… Gonna kill Germany!" He hollered before standing up. Antonio pulled Alfred down quickly before turning to his friend. Antonio thought that Gilbert seemed too light hearted when telling the other two about his dream until he saw the German's ruby eyes. Sadness, anger, fear, and just plain lost were all jumbled up in those scarlet orbs.

Antonio reached out and put his hand on Gilbert's knee. Gilbert looked up at Antonio and a small, genuine smile grew on his face. "Thank you…" He whispered.

On the other hand, Alfred was seething with rage and didn't notice the two friends. "How dare he even lay a finger on _my_ brother!" Gilbert gave Alfred a concerning look.

"It was only a dream, Alfred." Alfred shot him a dark glare.

"Doesn't matter. He's still my little brother. I vowed I would protect him and anyone else because I am a HERO!" Gilbert and Antonio sighed simultaneously, sending each other warning messages with their eyebrows.

"How about you tell us about your nightmare, Antonio." Antonio gave a relieved smile and winked at Gilbert.

"Si, I will!"

_Antonio's Dream_

'_Antonio smiled at Lovino and trailed a finger down his jaw and leaned in to place a chaste kiss on the other's lips. Lovino blushed slightly before pushing Antonio away._

"_Antonio… I can't do this anymore." Antonio looked at him, confused._

"_Can't do what, mi tomate?" Lovino looked away and began to cry. "Mi tomate, what's wrong?"_

"_I don't love you, bastard! I love… I love…"_

"_What do you mean you don't love me?" Antonio pointed a finger at himself. Lovino turned back around to look at the Spaniard. Letting out a sigh he scooted away from Antonio._

"_Would you just listen, ass! I don't love you because I love… I love that stupid potato sucker, L-Ludwig." Antonio's mouth dropped open considerably .The look in his eye was that of a crazed animal. A thousand thoughts flew through his mind. He wanted to rip the stupid potato sucking head off of that stupid German. He wanted to prove to his Lovi that he was the best choice for him. He wanted to-_

"_I think it's best that we don't see each other anymore. Grazi for the good times, ciao." Lovino stood up and walked away from the Spaniard despite Antonio's pleading screams. Antonio lunged at Lovino and clung to his tanned leg. The young Italian kicked the Spaniard in the jaw until he released his hold. When Antonio finally did let go, Lovino bolted out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. _

"_Lovino! Mi tomate! Come back!" Spain screamed after the retreating Italian, tears streaming down his face as he cried Lovino's name over and over.'_

Antonio smiled sadly at the dream. It was a disheveling memory that occurred in every aspect of his life. He hated when he dreamt of it because he usually woke up screaming, much like he did tonight, or woke up in tears. Gilbert pulled his friend into a tight hug. Alfred wiped a pretend tear from his eye. Gilbert glared at the American and punched him in the arm. He smiled as he pleasantly heard the nation give out a high pitched yelp. Alfred held his arm protectively and stuck his tongue out at the albino.

"So," Antonio sighed quietly. "What was your nightmare about?" Alfred contemplated the dream once in his mind before setting about telling his tale.

_Alfred's Dream_

_Gunshots sounded from every angle and smoke and dust covered every soldier and tank. The sky was blood red and men and women alike were falling to the ground. Nazi soldiers marched across the rugged and beaten land. Alfred watched in horror as Germany planted a flag adorning the swastika into American soil._

"_The United States of America belongs to Germany!" Resounding cheers sounded from all the Germans standing in the vicinity of the speaker. Alfred ran from the battlefield and hid. He hid like a coward._

_Democracy failed. America failed to free the other countries. He failed as a hero. Alfred F. Jones was just a big, fat F-A-I-L-U-R-E! And now? Now he was a failure who was hiding from his problems. And he sat there. He sat there like the cowardly failure he was and cried. He cried until the Nazis found him in an old alleyway, and he still cried when they threw him into a concentration camp. Despite him being blonde and having blue eyes, they still threw him into a dirty mud hole filled with all the "imperfections" on the command of Ludwig. Alfred bit his lip and cried until there were no more tears to give._

_Alfred F. Jones failed.'_

Antonio stared at Alfred, shocked that the American could dream of something like _that_. Gilbert on the other hand, as not surprised at all. He knew Alfred had rejection issues and therefore predicted a dream of this caliber to appear in such a self-conscious psyche. Yes, Gilbert could have those "Brain Blast" moments when he wanted to.

Alfred checked the clock and said, "I think it's about time we go back to bed. It's already two in the morning." The other two nodded before getting up and walking to their designated bedrooms.

"Hey, Gilbert?" Antonio whispered a bit sheepishly. The albino turned to his friend and hiked an eyebrow.

"Ja?" Antonio turned to the direction of Ivan and Alfred's bedroom before meeting Gilbert's face.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" Gilbert's face was filled with sympathy for the Spaniard and he held out his hand towards the other man. Antonio reached for it and held it tightly before he snuggled up closer to Gilbert. A light blush came over Gilbert's pale face before he hooked his arm around the younger nation.

"Sure buddy, you sure can." Antonio stopped abruptly before tugging Gilbert down by his shirt and kissing him lightly. Surprise was etched deep into the Prussian's face before he leaned into the kiss passionately.

Gilbert licked Antonio's lips pleadingly before Antonio fulfilled his wish. The Spaniard parted his lips so that Gilbert's tongue could slip into his mouth. Antonio couldn't shake the fact that Gilbert tasted like beer. This only helped the other nation to get turned on even more. The albino pressed his tongue to the other's before the two fought over who was more dominate. Gilbert put his hand up Antonio's shirt and the feeling of cold skin on his hot body made the Spaniard shiver with pleasure.

The German rubbed his hands over the other male's nipples causing the other to arch his back. Gilbert wrapped his arms the tanned nation and brought his face closer to Antonio's. The Spaniard's face grew redder as he moaned deeply. Gilbert trailed his tongue down the younger's neck and smirked triumphantly as the other nation practically melted in his arms.

By now, Antonio was pressed up against the wall by Gilbert while both their hair and clothes were equally disheveled. Gilbert laughed breathily and said, "This is… AWESOME!" Antonio rolled his eyes before pulling the other closer to him.

Ivan tiptoed silently towards the kitchen. It was too damn hot to share a bed with Alfred and Ivan needed his space. He skulked closer to the kitchen until he heard a lot of shuffling and moaning. Curious, Ivan stopped his current trek and moved towards the rather loud noises.

Ivan stopped when he found the source of the noise.

"Ewwwwww…" Ivan turned abruptly and walked to his bedroom.

When he opened the old, creaky door, Alfred sat upright to glare at the Russian. He pulled the blankets over his head and curled up into a tight ball.

"Close the door! The light! It burns!" Ivan sighed at the overdramatic nation and pushed the door shut. He walked over to Alfred's bed and pulled the blanket off the obnoxious American. "Hey! What was that for?" Alfred half-yelled at the other nation. Ivan brought a hand over Alfred's mouth and shushed him.

"Do you want them to hear us?" Alfred's eyes held a puzzled look before he understood what the older was saying. Alfred tore Ivan's hand away from his mouth before he made an unattractive face.

"Your hand tastes awful…" Ivan glowered at him while he pushed the American to the other side of the bed. He slowly lay down before snatching the comforter from Alfred.

"Why you gotta be that way Ivan?" Alfred asked in a squeaky voice. When he didn't get an answer, he decided to snuggle up into Ivan's back. He smirked when a soft, surprised gasp escaped the other's lips. Alfred closed his eyes and waited for sleep to grab hold of him until an elbow shot back into his gut. "Ugh! You freakin' son of a bitch!" Alfred grabbed a tuft of Ivan's hair before giving it a strong pull. A loud grunt came from Ivan before he rolled over and was on top of the younger nation. Alfred's eyes were gleaming; a glint of lust twinkled ever so slightly. Violet eyes were nearly identical to his, but another emotion lingered. Alfred couldn't quite put his finger on it.

The two leaned in slightly before Ivan pulled away. He rolled off of the other male and said nothing. Alfred stared at the ceiling, indifference plastered on his face. He tried to grasp hold of what had happened but found that he couldn't.

Alfred closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep. Before he let his consciousness slip, he heard Ivan whisper a hoarse "sorry." A soft smile graced Alfred's features before a wave of sleep hit him.

* * *

><p>Yep, Gil and Antonio getting all smexy with each other! Hope you enjoyed it, review lease~<p> 


	14. Prissy Party Boys

It was finally party day and Gilbert and Antonio rushed about, hanging banners and setting bowls of food on a wooden table. Nothing out of the ordinary really happened, except for a few pecks on Antonio's cheek by Gilbert. Alfred sighed sadly. He missed Arthur dearly, wishing to hold the small Briton in his arms and stare into those emerald eyes of his. Suddenly, Ivan screamed out in terror, causing Alfred to snap out of his thoughts.

"Hey! What's wrong commie?" The American's sapphire eyes shone angrily with blue fire. Ivan only shook his head and pointed a shaky finger at Gilbert and Antonio. The two were lying on the floor, sucking each others' faces off.

Alfred's eye twitched and he turned away from the scene, making a rather loud gagging noise.

"Oh get over it, you two!" Antonio growled, pulling away from Gilbert momentarily. "Honestly…"

Laughing childishly, Alfred started to decorate the small house with colorful streamers. The doorbell went off, and Antonio walked towards the door to see who was arriving to the party four hours early. Austria stood at the doorstep, adjusting his white, silk gloves.

"Ah, Austria! What are you doing here?" The Spaniard asked nervously. Austria eyed the normally relaxed nation with curious, violet eyes.

"I came here to set up my piano," Antonio quirked an eyebrow. "Elizeveta "begged" me to bring it and play for the guests, so I said yes. May I come in?"

"Yeah, sure! Just make sure you don't break anything!" Gilbert shouted from the living room. Rolling his eyes at Gilbert's stupidity, the Austrian disappeared for a moment.

"Antonio, can you come help me get this thing in?" Austria hollered.

"Y-Yeah Roderich, just hold on a sec!" Antonio replied. He smiled before turning back to his other guests. "SHIT! What do we do?" Gilbert just kissed him chastely before pushing him out the door.

"It'll be fine. Just help the priss get her piano in here and we will go from there." The Spaniard smiled gratefully before running to help the aristocratic nation. Alfred sat silently, excitement bubbling in his mind.

'_What are we going to do?'_ He thought, fearing that he and Ivan were going to get caught.

Suddenly, a large crash sounded from the kitchen. He jumped up to see what it was, but was pulled down sharply by Ivan. Alfred opened his mouth to protest, but a dark glare from the Russian shut him up. Gilbert walked into the kitchen to see Roderich's piano on its side and almost every piece of china (Pfft! China…) broken on the floor.

"WTF! I told you not to break anything!" Roderich gave the Prussian a stern look.

"It couldn't be helped, so just shush!" Gilbert pouted slightly before helping the other two roll the piano into the living room. The Austrian positioned the instrument in the far left corner and turned to thank Antonio before he caught sight of Alfred struggling under Ivan's grip.

"Well then, Ivan, Alfred, please excuse me, I have a call to make," He said while pulling his phone out of his pocket. He muttered a phone number under his breath and struggled to punch the numbers in.

"Wait a sec… He's calling Arthur!" Ivan lunged at the nation and tore the phone out of his gloved hands.

"Oh, BUSTED!" Gilbert and Alfred gloated together. Austria trembled slightly and backed away towards the kitchen.

"Please," Antonio begged. "Please don't rat us out!"

"Why shouldn't I?" Roderich argued.

"Because they are innocent!" Antonio fell to his knees and hugged Roderich's legs to his chest.

The Austrian sighed, torn between doing the right thing and helping out his friends, minus Gilbert and Alfred. He closed his eyes and nodded. Antonio's face lit up and he started thanking the man happily.

"Yes, yes, I am a good person. Now, what happens when the others arrive? Isn't England going to be there?" The other's face drooped visibly. He released Roderich and backed away towards the couch, putting his head in his hands.

"Si…" He whispered almost inaudibly. Alfred frowned and turned away from the entire situation. Gilbert and Roderich sat down beside their Spanish friend and whispered words of comfort in his ear. Tears pricked at Antonio's eyes as he held in his tears. Ivan sighed and stood, making his way to the kitchen as he did.

He started to sing a song that he wrote for his sister when he was the Soviet Union.

"_Apple and Pear trees were in bloom,"_ Ivan reached out and took ingredients from a spice rack. _"Mist was creeping on the river,"_ He set them down sullenly on the counter and trudged toward the fridge. _"Katyusha set out on the banks. On the steep and lofty banks,"_ He pulled out milk and shut the door gingerly. _"She was walking, singing a song,"_ Opening the wooden cabinets, he stood there searching for a couple of mugs. _"About a grey steppe eagle. About her true love, whose letters she was keeping~"_ Snapping his fingers, Ivan turned back to the refrigerator and pulled out two beers. The Russian boiled a pot of hot milk and poured them into the mugs. He poured cinnamon and cocoa and mixed them in a bit with a spoon.

"_Oh you song! Little song of a maiden," _

"_Head for the bright Sun,"_

"_And reach for the soldier on the far-away border,"_

"_Along with greetings from Katyusha,"_

Ivan stopped when he saw Anya sitting on the counter, a smug smirk planted firmly on her pale face.

"What?" Ivan asked defensively. She only shook her head and held both her hands out. Puzzled, Ivan held out his own and she set a Matyroshka in the shape of a female soldier in his large hands.

"Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better," She sang with a wink and disappeared. Ivan sighed and looked down at the nesting dolls in his hands. He jumped in surprise, startled to see his son carved in the smooth wood instead of a female soldier. He thumbed over his son's shaggy silver hair that complimented his violet-blue eyes very well.

He set the doll in his jean pocket and walked back into the living room with the steaming cups of cocoa and cold beer. He handed out the drinks and smiled gently when a soft smile appeared either both Roderich's and Antonio's faces. And his smile grew wider when a toothy grin split across Gilbert's and Alfred's completely ecstatic faces.

Ivan suddenly got an idea, dashing excitedly to Roderich's side. After a moment of whispering, the other nation finally stood and walked over to his piano. He popped his knuckles and started to play the melody of "Hey Jude." Alfred started to sing the bits and pieces he remembered, causing Gilbert to immediately jump in and sing. Antonio dried his eyes and began to sing as well. By the time they finished singing the song repeatedly, the doorbell rang sharply through the house.

Gilbert waved at Alfred and Ivan, telling them to go and remake their disguises. Doing as they were told, Ivan recurled Alfred's hair and Alfred redid Ivan's hair color, dying his roots brown again and styling it with hair gel. When they came back to the living room, a few of the guests had filtered in already. Switzerland and Lichtenstein were next to Roderich's piano, a rather loud "conversation" brewing between Austria and Switzerland. Lichtenstein just stood there, a small smile resting on her cherub-like face.

Francis was trying seduce the already drunk Antonio, a pissed of Gilbert and Arthur pouncing on him. Alfred gasped at the sight of Arthur and clung to Ivan's muscled arm, a sense of unease washing over him. Ivan wrapped his arm around Alfred. Hey, if they were going to pretend they were dating, Ivan was going to have fun messing with the American.

Disregarding the groan of defiance coming from the blonde, Ivan kissed Alfred chastely. The nation pushed Ivan away, a look of anger, confusion, and exasperation setting in on his features.

"D-Don't… Please don't…" Alfred whispered. Ivan quirked an eyebrow at the obnoxious man's shyness, but did refrain from going too far. He escorted Alfred over to Arthur and the Bad Touch Trio, smiling softly at the chaos trailing each guest.

Arthur gasped when he saw Ivan, not knowing who he was.

"Good God, man! You're huge! And your eyes! They're just like Russia's!" Alfred clung tighter to Ivan, almost cutting off circulation in the older nation's arm. The Russian only cocked his head to the side and did his best to ignore the pain.

"Who?" He asked, reminding the Trio and Arthur of that one guy's pet bear.

"Never mind. So what's your name, chap?" The Briton questioned.

"Oh! I can answer that one!" Antonio answered cheerfully. "His name is Iva-"The Spaniard was cut off by a long, passionate kiss. When Gilbert disconnected from the other, he smirked jubilantly.

"His name is Alex, and that's Emily, his girlfriend." Ivan gave Gilbert a relieved and grateful smile.

"Oh, okay." Arthur leaned over towards Emily and smiled. "You're a shy one, aren't you?" The girl nodded silently, hiding half her face behind Russia's back. The short nation chuckled before he stalked off.

'_This is going to be a long night…'_

* * *

><p><strong>A.N: Sorry for the short chapter! I just haven't updated in a long time, and I know this well overdo! Thanks to my faithful readers and check out my other story, 'Deep In The Heart Of Texas' I still need names for some of the states!<strong>


	15. PETITION! IMPORTANT!

Okay dudes, no chappie, sorry. But, there are a lot of stories that I like that might be taken down, so if you guys could take a look at this, you would be an amazing person!

* * *

><p>The administrators of are as of June 4th going to be taking down Fics that have lemons or have extreme violence. Now I don't know about you but I think thats stupid. There are many wonderful fics that only have one or two lemons in them yet the plot itself is awesome! You can't just take down a 100,000+ word fic just because it has a lemon in a chapter that is only 1000 words long. Now I urge you all to read the petition below, sign it, and repost this to your own fics. Hopefully if we make enough noise everything will return to normal. Thank you.<p>

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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	16. Eviction notice

Okay, the night was going well so far. Alfred hated to admit it, but right now, Ivan was the most comforting presence in the room. Alfred still clung to his arm like a leech, causing the Russian an unbearable amount of pain, he couldn't even feel his arm from the elbow down, but the nation didn't say anything. He knew that saying something would make the blonde beside him hold on even tighter, and then this happens and that happens, and Ivan will have to result in biting off his own arm. Yes, Ivan would bite off his arm if he had to.

"So, Alex," Ivan felt a hand thump down on his shoulder. "You're a very tall man." Arthur slurred a bit as he pulled said man in front of him. The Russian only nodded politely, clenching his fists in case things escalated. "And because you're such a large man, I was wondering if," The Briton drawled on the word, irritating Ivan royally. "You had," Why was he stopping after every few words? "A large…" Alfred's face reddened a bit as the meaning of what the short nation was saying came to him. He tugged on his "boyfriend's" shirt sleeve and whispered in his ear.

"Okay, I think you've had enough to drink." Ivan reached down to take the margarita in Arthur's hand, but he moved it out of Ivan's reach before the nation could get to it. He stuck his tongue out before downing the rest of the drink, a childish smirk appearing over his features. This is where things started to get weird.

Arthur started swaying a bit, twirling on the balls of his feet, and talking to the air as he did so many times after the G8 meetings.

"Flying Mint Bunny, don't lick that! Oh! Captain Hook you naughty devil! Yes, I do believe she is quite a handsome lady, but I wouldn't do _that_ to her. Harry, it's good to see you made it! Oh yes, how's Ron and Hermione? Wonderful!" Ivan looked down at the intoxicated Briton, inching away ever so slightly. Alfred held back his laughter, forgetting about the anxious feeling in his gut as he guffawed at his lover. _Former,_ he reminded himself bitterly. Sighing in utter defeat, he buried his face into the taller blonde next to him. Smiling fondly, he noted that Ivan smelled of wintergreen mint and lilac, with the subtle hint of vodka, though it was very distant.

Suddenly, a loud crash was heard throughout Spain's small household, making everything but the music silent. A hunched over figure slowly came into the light, revealing a man with red hair clutching his stomach.

"Scotland?" Arthur bellowed from across the room. At these words, everyone but Russia and England visibly relaxed, finding their other companions more interesting than the loud man. The same nation stumbled not-so-gracefully towards his younger brother, giving him a toothy grin.

"Aey dere'lit'le brother! How' it going?" The red head put an arm around the blonde's slender shoulders.

"Please, do speak like a true gentleman. I don't want to be embarrassed by your atrocious speech." Arthur replied tartly, sounding much more sober. Scotland pouted, genuine hurt seeming to appear in his cerulean eyes. England sighed and patted his brother in an awkward way, mumbling incoherent words of apologies. The Scot's face brightened at his brother's feeble attempt to comfort and drew the small nation into a bone crushing hug of death. The Englishman sputtered before wrapping his arms around his brother too.

Alfred growled silently, baring his teeth out of jealousy. Ivan took notice of the action and gave the American a painful squeeze to show his disapproval. The younger winced as he felt the circulation in his arm stop for a brief moment.

"Not cool…" Alfred grumbled.

"Don't care." Ivan retorted through a forced smile.

"Oh, hey there, 'Arry! Nice t' see ya'! You gonna' do whut with a girl? What girl? Artie, Capain' 'Ook is losin' his mind… Again…"

Arthur tugged on his brother's sleeve and pointed at Alfred. "Scotland, this is Emily. The girl Hook was talking about." The red head turned his eyes to the American, smiling a perverted smile that could rival France's.

"Oh yeah. I would so do _that_ to her!" Alfred blushed furiously while Ivan cackled at his companion's face. Scotland advanced closer to the pair, causing Ivan to pull the blonde even closer than he was before, until the Scotsman stopped. Looking them up and down once more, he turned to his brother. "Isn't that Alfred?" He pointed a finger at the accused with a puzzled expression.

Synchronized, as if it took weeks to perfect the right timing and everything, the door was broken down to reveal three gruff looking men, each in armored clothing, each stomping around in big heavy boots, each loaded with guns and batons.

The one in the middle, presumably the leader of the group, held up a search and seizures permit. He shouted in furious Spanish, causing Spain to answer them quickly and politely.

"_Who is the owner of this home?"_

"_I am."_

"_We have a search warrant to check your home. We are looking for the two offenders of the murder of the prime minister of England and his daughter."_ Antonio tugged at his shirt collar nervously before reassuring them that there was no one here of that caliber and that they could leave. The men eyed him doubtingly, not believing his obvious lie.

Scotland and Arthur turned their attention to the people conversing, allowing Ivan and Alfred the chance to slip away when Gilbert beckoned them over towards Austria's piano.

"Listen you two," he started quietly. "There is a door under here that will lead you to Roderich's house. I have already called Elizaveta, and she will let you guys stay with them for awhile." He smiled sadly. "I thought you two would like these," The Prussian handed Ivan his scarf, Alfred's bomber jacket, and a pair of men's clothes for the sure-to-be-whiny American. "Try to not get yourself killed, because that would be so unawesome." Gilbert opened the door, allowing Alfred to slip through. Ivan handed down the clothes to his companion before going in himself. Gilbert gave him a look, holding his hand out. Ivan took it and gave a parting squeeze before releasing and slipping into the pitch black tunnel.

The albino smirked, stood, and stalked away towards the fight breaking out between his lover and the government goons.

**A.N. Happy birthday America! You rock. Ack! I haven't updated in such a long time! Please don't kill me! *is shot anyways* **

**I had time to do this so I decided to give this update as a gift to our favorite annoying, burger-obsessed, infuriating, obnoxious, idiotic, stupid, ignorant, impatient, self-conscious, red neck…**

**America: This going anywhere anytime soon?**

**Me: Sorry! Point is, we love ya! Happy birthday/ Independence Day America! Now let us hope that Iggy doesn't cry himself to sleep at the bar again…**


	17. Christmas filler chapter

Worming his way through the dirt encrusted tunnels, Alfred led the small partnership forward. His knees were scraped and bleeding from the constant abuse he received on his bare legs. Ivan held the small bundle of clothes he had received close to his chest, refraining from telling the quiet blonde ahead of him. He decided he would give them up once America started to complain. And sure enough, Alfred's groans started resonating ahead of him.

"Russki! My legs hurt!" Ivan sighed, smiling slightly.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Alfred moaned in protest, sending involuntary chills up the other's spine. The younger's hands found their way to Russia's chest, pushing childishly. As he pushed, he felt the familiar fabric of his pants.

"BRO! Why did you hide these from me?" Ivan shrugged nonchalantly. Sighing, Alfred ripped them away. He slid the short skirt off quickly, tugging on his trousers, albeit a dark blush spreading across his face.

"I have the shirt too. I mean, if you want to keep that bra and blouse on, I'm fine with it. But, this is here if you want to change…" Russia rambled a bit, shaking the simple tee-shirt in front of Alfred with a sly smirk. The blonde pouted, violently pulling off the blouse and throwing it to wherever. The bra followed suite soon after. His tan, sweat drenched skin practically glistened in the dark tunnel, spots of milky moonlight slipping through minute cracks in the ceiling.

Russia' hormones must've been raging. He had the sudden urge to push the other down and take him. His pale fingers twitched madly, he had to grasp his scarf tightly to stop anything bad from happening.

"Let's hurry and get to Austria's house…"

**A.N. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it otherwise, happy holidays. Haven't updated since July, shoot me. I love you all, so here is my useless filler chapter. I got a Microsoft tablet for my own, so now I can update whenever and actually finish this damned story. Again, I love you all, review please. It would be an amazing gift! **


	18. Enter: Hungary!

America's POV

Russia is too weird, I thought to myself. He'd been staring at me for a while. I tried complaining to make him stop, but it didn't bother him. So, in an attempt to change the awkward tension, I redirected his attention to the door shaped object ahead. He pushed me aside with shaking hands and crawled swiftly to it, groping for something for a few moments. Then he pushed. In a barrage of dust and pebbles, the wood creaked upwards, supporting itself on rusted hinges that squeaked loudly. It acted as our portal, but it didn't show us where we were. So, in a flash of bravery, I flew up out of the doorway and into what could only be described as a basement. Definitely Austria's basement.

Instruments of all kind lay around in various cases of glass and leather bound plastic. There was a filthy white sheet covered something very large. A piano, most likely. Russia picked up a case, rubbing his thumb over something unknown to me. Though I was curious, I didn't really care.

"Come on," I commanded. "Let's find Hungary." I didn't know if he was following me or not, though it didn't really matter. I found a flight of stairs that had a rather tall door at the top. I started climbing, but stopped immediately when the pain flooded through my legs. I almost collapsed, feeling strong arms wrap around my waist to stop me.

"Thanks Rus…" I stopped, biting my tongue when I saw his eyes. They seemed to turn black, but were probably just a deep purple. It still creeped me out to the extreme. He slowly released me, backing away a bit so I could have my space. I turned to him. His eyes flashed dangerously, for no reason. A smile tugged at his lips, it looked malicious and bitter.

…Weird…

I tried walking up the stairs again, only to hiss in agony at the experience. Without a word, I felt Russia take me by the forearm and drag me up. I tried to protest, it was painful! But my cry fell on deaf ears. He continued to drag me, letting my beaten up legs bang across the old wood.

When we reached the top, he started to treat me more gently. He picked me up bridal style, much to me contempt, and kicked the door open. Bright light filled my eyes.

"Hungary!" Russia tested quietly, unsure of himself. A flustered brunette flew out from behind a corner, her long hair flowing beautifully in her wake. Elizaveta smiled at us. I almost swooned. I had had a crazy crush on her since England introduced me to her when I was a colony. Of course, I knew she and Austria were still together (even if they weren't an official union anymore) and I didn't want to start a fight. I moved on, and eventually fell for Iggy and we started to date. I'd forgotten about my crush for a while, and now all those old feelings were coming back.

"Oh, Alfred! Russia!" Then the weirdest thing happened, she started to nosebleed. I don't know why, but her face started to get really red and the blood was just pouring out of her face. I was about to ask what was wrong when she fainted.

… Did I mention how WEIRD this day had been?

**A.N. Two pots in one day? It really is Christmas! I had time, so… yeah. Happy Holidays!**


	19. Guardian Meeting

After reviving Elizaveta, The Q&A started. What had they done? How had they survived? What were they going to do now? Russia answered almost every question as best he could, laughing at their antics, sighing at the sacrifices made by many, tensing at the suspense. But Alfred had remained unusually passive during the conversation. The two older nations kept throwing nervous side glances at him, retracting their eyes when his blue orbs would narrow into a hard glare.

Something kept whispering into Alfred's ear, a deep guttural whisper that would appear and disappear at a notice. He couldn't say he was afraid of it, no. He'd been subjected to many supernatural beings, a rather grueling experience with a ghost being the one that stuck with him and started the deep-rooted phobia that Japan expressed his hatred for on countless occasions. Fear would be an overstatement. It was a mild case of paranoia and an overdose of irritation. But when the voice kept floating by his ear, nipping at it in a _human _way, Alfred started to feel weird.

In the mystic plane, six entities sat in the same room that the trio did, only they were unseen by them. A quiet conversation was brewing between five, while the sixth was only being an annoyance to everyone else. The sixth was Vladimir. Vlad had been goofing off, running his hands through Russia's hair, trying to shape the thin locks into a Mohawk, failing mostly.

"Daniel, how is Ms. Hungary?" Anya asked tentatively, facing towards Elizaveta's male counterpart. The brunette smiled sweetly, undoing his ponytail so Vladimir could play with his hair. The two talked about their guardian duties, ignoring the other four. Emily, America's_ real _female version sat reading a magazine, Vadim had Vlad in a crushing head lock, and Josiah continued to nip and whisper into Alfred's ear.

Josiah chuckled, sitting back to relax. He looked almost exactly like America, despite the mouse brown hair. With a chuckle, he leaned in again to bite his twin on the ear until the wound bled.

America yelped. _Something_ had _bitten _him. His ear was _bleeding!_ Hungary look at him worriedly for a moment, eyes going comically wide as she flailed her arms.

"You're bleeding!" She jumped up and left the room quickly. Alfred and Ivan sat alone. The blonde held his ear gingerly, groaning loudly.

"Fuck that hurts! Mother fucker!" Alfred felt a wet appendage lap the blood up, but when he turned around, Russia was on the opposite side of the room giving him odd looks. What was happening? He shifted nervously, and when the other nation excused himself to go to the bathroom, Alfred pulled out of the darkest bowels of his mind a spell that Iggy had taught him. A jumble of words spilled out of the nation's mouth, many were mispronounced and of Latin origin. A purple-blue light surrounded his scarred fist, and he took a hard swing to his left, in the direction of Josiah.

The brunette yelled out, clenching his jaw tightly. A blackish bruise with a fleeting blue glow started to form on his pale skin. This earned a laugh from the other Guardians, especially Emily and Anya, who beckoned him over through bouts of giggles. Anya took his face in her hands, sprinkling red and green magic on the welt to heal it.

The bruise wasn't taken away completely, a faded bump was still there. Grumbling, Josiah attempted to thump Alfred, backing into Vlad when he tried to swing again.

"Fuck me…" The brunette complained quietly. Vladimir overheard, hiding smile behind his scarf.

"You sure?" He purred into Josiah's neck. A moment later, Vlad was on the floor with a broken nose.

**A.N: Nother update. I told you, I'm going to finish this story! So read and review, and Imma sorry if it seemed like this story was discontinued. It ws jut on an endless hiatus for a long time. I love you all, my little yaoi fans. Now please, feed the review whore. *Opens up mouth***


	20. I'm a pedo?

RUSSIA'S POV  
>Elizaveta yawned, covering her mouth. I frowned, pushing her to go to bed. She tried to refuse, but I just helped her down the hall into her bedroom. Alfred was already asleep, passed out on the couch with his mouth open.<p>

… Idiot…

I returned to the living room, collapsing into one of Roderich's plush arm chairs. I snuggled into the fabric, slipping in and out of consciousness. A soft hand took mine, rubbing it gently. Fuck it… all…

_Dreamland_

The fragrant scent of sunflowers rushed past my face with a warm breeze. It was really soothing, offering solace in a time that it was vital. My eyes fluttered open lethargically, hills of yellow and jade overflowing my vision. A blonde head popped up nearby, bobbing happily to some tune I couldn't hear. It was a small child, one with big blue eyes and pudgy cheeks. The familiar haircut told me who it was immediately.

…

_Alfred!?_

Apparently he heard me, because the toddler nation waddled over to me. He looked at me oddly.

"W'as wron' wit' youw' neck, mistew'?" His hand brushed my uncovered scars. I went cold.

Normally, I'd already punch adult Alfred in the face for touching me there, unlike the time I took a turn for the hormonal teen by kissing him. But baby Alfred, with his big round eyes and innocence, made me giggle.

… Holy shit…

Am I a pedophile?

**A.N. Oh Vanya, of course you are! Glad I could finally update, schools been a bitch. I'd like to say hello for my younger brother, who stepped down from his post as Ivan-bear. This chapter is gonna be the driving force for the ending of the story, so look for special hints in part 2! **


	21. Yes, yes you are part2

_Dreamland_

RUSSIA'S POV

He'd gotten way into my personal space, cuddling into my chest with a giggle. I sighed and lied back into the lush valley grass. He seemed to doze off when a (rather annoying) voice rang through the hills. A flock of sparrows flew off suddenly at the sound of the alarm-like voice. I wish I were them.

England's short figure stalked up to us, tensing up at the sight of me. Hmph, the feelings are mutual. His eyes reminded me of grimy, green bottles as they glinted in disgust.

"Come now, Alfred. It's time for lunch." The child sat up, cutely rubbing at his eyes to shake them of sleep. He smiled, but hesitantly climbed off me. England stretched his arms out for a hug. A creepy hug, if you ask me. America trudged to him, letting the other embrace him. The young nation's eyes sparked with fear, and he pushed Arthur away roughly, running back to me.

It happened fast. The _Dreamland _cascaded into swirling red fissures, sucking in the beautiful landscapes and blotting out the azure sky and replacing it with a fear-provoking murky black. The stench of corpses filled the vomit-inducing storm. England's stout body morphed into a half formed Nightmare-like satyr. He let out a malevolent gurgle. Shit.

In gathered America into my arms, and ran for a nearby pavilion, which had long since crumbled to ruins, it seems, before the earthquake. I slipped behind a broken statue and blanched. The smell reminded me too much of the past…

Wait. Where did Alfred go!? Oh shit, Ivan. None of the nations are ever going to let you watch their charges again! You've already lost one! WTF? WTF!?

Anya's laugh echoed in the remains, her war cry signaling others of what seemed like an army. I looked out from my safe place and saw a million men (and women, mind you) on horseback rushing down the slopes of the valley. Squinting, I glimpsed a familiar blonde head at the front of the pack. Alfred was full grown and decked out in Papa Sweden's Viking armor.

He was okay. And incredibly safe, too. I knew from experience that it took a lot to puncture Berwald's magic infused breastplate and helmet. He _was _safe…

Real world

NORMAL POV

The morning sun peaked through a minute crack in the thick curtains, waking Alfred. The American stretched lazily, cutely rubbing at his eyes to shake them of sleep. He yawned and pulled himself off of the incredibly comfy couch and stumbled to the kitchen, reading the emerald numbers on the microwave and oven.

_9:30_

"'S too early for this…" He complained, moving his hand to rest on the cool, stainless steel handle of the fridge. He tugged the appliance open and pulled out a frozen waffle from the freezer. He ambled to where the toaster lay, groaning loudly when Russia's voice tentatively broke the silence of the morning.

"Fredka, go get Elizaveta up." There was a pause. "…please." Alfred's left eye twitched comically.

"Why can't you?"

"You're already up."

"Get _your_ lazy ass up, Commie bastard. I don't wanna."

There was a loud sigh from the other room before noises of fabric against fabric could be heard. Russia passed through the kitchen, punching America in the arm as he strolled by. The blonde held his arm, punching back. _Hard._

The Russian hesitated, popped his neck, and turned to give his famous "mama-bear-is-pissed-so-you-will-die-today" look he gives Texas and New Jersey when they flirt with (or fuck) Alaska. His foot found its way to Alfred's jaw, then to his ass. He literally kicked America's ass. In an instant, they were on the freezing tile floor, wrestling in their underwear.

They didn't hear Hungary pad down the hall to investigate the noise in her kitchen. But they did hear her body hit the ground. And they did see blood spurting from her nose like a river. Again.

**A.N. Oh, Hungary! Will you ever learn? Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. The second part of the dream sequence holds many, **_**many **_**hints. I'd love to hear your theories about it, so feed the review **_**monger**_** and enjoy the story. **** Cheers!**


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